It Was Decided is a jewel of a story. You characterized the capricious innocence of Amelia and Joey so well, I was nearly persuaded I was reading a true story!
The contractions you used, gave the kids an endearing, and quite readable accent. Many times, when I read your work, I feel more as if I'm listening to a story being told, rather than reading one. I found it to be the case here again.
Before I even finished It Was Decided, I knew I would rate it five stars. It was decided!
I have read so much of your work, I have come to click on your portfolio with expectations! I expect it to be well written, and it most certainly is. I expect it to be creative, and it most certainly is. If the topic calls for imagination, I am never disappointed.
I didn't find any problems to point out here. You were able to grab my attention in the first paragraph, and you held my interest throughout.
The last line summed up the story nicely: "Oh, and one more thing. Doubt my story if you must, but just know there is no way I could have gotten my story in by the deadline without my power. I, for one, do not doubt your story, OR your power!
Lost within the masses
a fate we created ourselves
We can only hope
we cannot save ourselves
drowning in a sea of our own selfish needs
and our own fear
we are doomed to die
You are a good and thoughtful writer. I don't believe any man will rise up to save us. But I do believe the only man who ever credibly claimed to be heaven sent has already made our saving available. I put it this way in a song; "His name is Jesus, He saved my soul. Now nothin' can kill me, I'll never die, cause I found the way, the truth, and the life.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on, really in my opinion, the only things worthy of much thought; our existence and our fate....
Write On!
First, the two line, then a space format drew me. It was appealing to my eye. That was good. Then I had a little trouble, as if I were bring forced to jump over some sort of obstacle, i.e. wet paint or a ditch or something when there was a space in the middle of a sentence. The hardest for me was between lines 4 & 5, 8 & 9, 16 & 17.
The content kept my attention though. I imagine anyone who has ever had a job can relate, or even a young person who wants to fly away from the nest but hasn't the courage. I definitely felt the drudgery. As I read a little Patrick Henry rose up in me; "Give me liberty, or give me death!"
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