I can see now that I need to go grocery shopping earlier in the day. What a great little story.I haven't been doing this long enough to offer any technical advice. But , I CAN tell you that I really enjoyed it and I hope you keep on writing--I'd like to see more.
I haven't been writing too long and I can't give you any technical advice, so I'll just give you my personal feeling about your story. Overall I liked it. I was very thought provoking and that ending was totally unexpected for me. That's a very good thing in my estimation. I love reading something and being totally surprised. I did feel that you could have expanded some parts a little more. I believe that if you gave more detail in some parts, that would make a world of difference. All in all I believe it was a good story. Good job! I will look on the site for more of your work, I'm anxious to see more.
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