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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/fractalmom
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14 Public Reviews Given
38 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by fractalmom Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Writing this must have been a Nightmare! Hats off to you for being able to find the words that spelled out the title. There are just a couple of things that didn't flow, the most notable is

..Legendary insignia, a cross that's given to a civilian who bravely fights...

which you could think about rephrasing, it seems a bit awkward

perhaps

...Legendary insignia, a cross that's given to civlian's who bravely fight...

and, Diocletian was misspelled. But I doubt that many would notice that unless they were, like me, a religious studies major in a former life.

all in all, very readable.

dawn
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Review by fractalmom Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I like this, even though it makes me want to cry. Sort of reminds me of a PP & M song, or even, um...well not really woodie guthrie - ish,, maybe more of a dylan tune. what kind of music? i was envisioning a rather haunting melody in some minor key. It would be very interesting to see what kind of music ends up surrounding and supporting these lyrics.
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