It was well written. It was clear and I think I only caught a couple mistakes. I think the idea is good but the way in which it was told was a little cheesy. I like the idea of a guardian angel. But it would make the story distinctive if you told it with bit of edge. Make the guardian angel part not so obvious. Let Ellen not know for sure but wonder.
I think a little bit of work could make this piece pretty good. I like the way you travel from a depressing rainy day to the meaning of life to finding love. It makes sense. As you said in your preamble, this is just some late night rambling. Do a couple revisions and put some strength into the words.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/fordchronicles
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.10 seconds at 4:49pm on Nov 13, 2024 via server WEBX2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
