9/11/2001 just thinking about that day make me shivers... I was still a kid and I still remember it...
Thinking I did the wrong thing reading the poem first and then the incipit but he actually worked better that way
reading the poem first i thought the narrator was describing a place he/she was seeing that moment and in this place he/she found peace... and reading it I felt relaxed as well.
But then reading the incipit I came to the fact that the autor was trying to escape from the reality and creating that place to put her/his mind at ease... and to be honest she did it very well
the descriptions are amazing and I felt like I was relaxing on that distant place away from the reality sometimes so dark and not at all peaceful
You should always write about your fantasy
you writing skills are good I really enjoyed the story, maybe you could put a little
bit more of back ground story just to make the plot more rich and give more importance
to the role each character will be playing in the scene :)
anyway top work I hope to read more from you :)
It wasnt what I was expecting , i thought it will be more a foot fetish story
but Wasn't bad
If I can suggest you need to slow the pace a little bit and conentrate a bit more on the description of the scenes and the character to give them more importance throughout the story
You can re read the story and correct some mistake and mispelling and give a little bit more
body to some of the chapters
(I really enjoy the chapter when hanna became Kim insole :))
I like the style you can only improve and become even better
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 9:07pm on Nov 21, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
