Wow! I’m very impressed. With the length of this story the errors were very few!!! I really like the context, plot and everything else put into this story, obviously you are a strong thinker and hard writer!
1. I have a interview appointment with one Tinker Bell this afternoon,".
~~~~~There doesn’t need to be a period after the quote~~~~~
2. My name is Ted, and I will take you to see Mrs. Bell,".
~~~~~No period~~~~~
3. Now I must tell you something, Mrs. Barrie, that...particular resident has not been the most cooperative,".
~~~~~Period?~~~~~
4. The poor girl is probably just a little lonely,".
~~~~~This will be the last one; I’m just here to tell you the mistake. Look for more of these in your story, there are lots.~~~~~
5. She tried her very best to ignore the various cat-calling and screams that were coming from the cells.
~~~~~There really shouldn’t be a dash after cat, and before calling, just one word.~~~~~
6. The walls separating the cells were virtually non-existant, having no doubt eroded over the course of their paint-fueled and well choreographed dance numbers
~~~~~existent, should be existent, and well choreographed should be
well-choreographed~~~~~
7. “Tink. Call me Tink" She said quietly.
~~~~~No period just a comma and comma before quote ends~~~~~
8. "Peter. Peter's coming back.
~~~~~No period, comma after peter~~~~~
9. Jenny gasped and lept toward the call button, but stopped short when she saw Tink crumpled down against the window. Jenny cautiously walked toward Tink, and tried to console her.
~~~~~Jenny gasped and leaped not lept.~~~~~
10. Well, going back to what Peter told me.."
~~~~~I believe this is a mistake, because there are two periods.~~~~~
11. You really wanna know what happened?"
~~~~~Wanna isn’t a word, but it’s totally up to you to fix, I use it all the time just not in my stories.~~~~~
12. "Alright. Take a seat then." Tink advised
~~~~~after alright should be a comma no period~~~~~
13. He was living in a loft, and he had a bunch of buttwipe roommates, but I didn't pay a lot of attention to them.
~~~~~ LOL, I like this but Butt-wipe is dash word or two words~~~~~
14. I had to be on call, twenty-four seven, three-sixty-five.
~~~~~Three-sixty five~~~~~
15. Tink said
"Oh, I believe you Tink. “
~~~~~Comma after said~~~~~
16. Order, dammit!" the judge bellowed
~~~~~lol you spelt it wrong, Damn it!~~~~~
17. He started shaking and fidgeting, and then, he just kinda fell over" Dorothy explained.
~~~~~”kinda” is kind of, but it’s up to you.~~~~~
18. Tink jumped for joy upon hearing the news, and embraced Dorthy in a victory hug, and both began cackling like schoolgirls.
~~~~~LOL, you spelt Dorothy wrong, I mean you could have had it Dorthy, but before you put Dorothy~~~~~
19. Peter said enthustatically
"I'd like that a lot" Dorothy said, smiling
~~~~~enthusiastically, instead of enthustatically~~~~~
20. Tink exclaimed with joyfull enthusiasm, as Peter and Dorothy walked out hand in hand.
~~~~~”joyfull”, should be joyful~~~~~
I love this story Like I always ay keep up the awesome job, and you can post as many stories as you wish!
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