I think this might be my favorite piece i've ever read on this site! I love everything from the title to the characters. Most of all I love the idea of a lighthouse keeper! The whole thing is so intriguing! And I was not expecting the werewolf twist but it adds such a nice touch. Also I am a sucker for romance so I love this story all around! But if i could make one sugestion it would be to offer more of an explanation as to why he feels such an attraction for her. That way it isn't just "You're my soulmate." Keep writing!
I really like the details that you included in this version but some of the sentences were run ons and had a little too much information. Like, "I knew that some people thought I was weird because everyday even during the winter I would run home, never rode the bus just wasn’t my thing I guess,but I always liked to run didn't like the feeling that I was out of shape and besides I was the running back for the football team and had to keep my shape or I wouldn’t be able to play next year." Maybe cut back a little on the unnecessary details. And there were also a few spelling errors and missed commas but over all good job! (Sorry for trying to be an editor) lol. Keep writing! This story has real potential!
I really like the details that you included in this version but some of the sentences were run ons and had a little too much information. Like, "I knew that some people thought I was weird because everyday even during the winter I would run home, never rode the bus just wasn’t my thing I guess,but I always liked to run didn't like the feeling that I was out of shape and besides I was the running back for the football team and had to keep my shape or I wouldn’t be able to play next year." Maybe cut back a little on the unnecessary details. And there were also a few spelling errors and missed commas but over all good job! (Sorry for trying to be an editor) lol. Keep writing! This story has real potential!
Hmm...I really love this! My favorite part was the dream. That's brilliant! But if I could make one suggestion. When writing a criminal's note like that, try to keep it short and get to the point. If you think about it, criminals don't waste their time. Also include one major threat like, "Don't bring anyone else with you, if you want your sister in one piece." Good job with that part by the way. Over all, I really enjoyed reading this! Great suspence. Keep writing more! :)
Great job! You left this story as a cliff hanger! Now I really want to read more! I'm so curious as to how molly died, or what happened to her. Great detail and I love how you really describe how the main character is feeling. Really great job. There were some grammar/punctuation mistakes but that doesn't affect my opinion about it. Just wanted to let you know. Keep writing more! Hope to see more of this story soon!
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