To me the story had a bittersweet ending, as you may have intended. Excellent use of building the character of the Angela and of Pedro. The main critique I have with it involves the beginning when you are telling us about Angela. The issue is that you told instead of showed. I think if you go back and incorportate what you tell us about Angela in a narrative then the story will be even better than it is. It is an excellent story showing how Angela came to her decision and some major factors that went into the decision (ie. Pedro's mental and sometimes physical abuse of her). We all hear the droning of 'show don't tell' throughout our career and I believe that is one of the toughest parts of writing. After you told us about Angela you did a superb job of showing us her story! Great job and keep up the good work!
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/fireexi
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 4:03am on Nov 25, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
