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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/fbgranger
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4 Public Reviews Given
4 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Milano York Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I enjoyed this poem very much and am not surprised it won a 2nd prize - the first prize must have been good! The only two points that jarred with me, when reading aloud was the odd combination not any hope - perhaps not a shred of hope?? and then to light up a chord sounds like a mixed metaphor, blending sound and sight and maybe the verb strike a chord is a bit cliched but avoids the mix.
I wish I could write poetry this good.
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Review of Bipolar and me  Open in new Window.
Review by Milano York Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
My sister, who died a few years ago, suffered from being bipolar for over 40 years. She enjoyed poetry and wrote some of her own, but always a non-rhyming free verse style. What strikes me first about your poem is its sing-along, bouncy rhythm and rhyme, which to some may strike a dissonant note, jarring with the theme. However, maybe the secret of living with bipolar is to embrace opposites and what some don't like about the poem, others may consider its best feature.
I hope many will enjoy it as much as I have.
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Review by Milano York Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
IMHO this piece could be improved if you removed the 2 Buts at the start of sentences, used the standard spelling of tomorrow, put a comma between good friends, and family and used the standard verb lengthen rather than the noun. Think whether the capital letters on Be Free add anything to the meaning. The piece has a good feel and the use of i instead of I reminds me of e.e. cummings.
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