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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/farsight07
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7 Public Reviews Given
8 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Words  Open in new Window.
Review by D J Fletcher Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
An interesting concept certainly and very thought provoking. Personally I found it a bit confusing because you start by talking about "it", which implies that you are talking about specific words, but you then go on and drop the "it" and seem to be talking about the power of words in general.

I like it, and I can see why others would, but I feel it could benefit from dropping the "it is", or potential changing it to "there are"

Keep writing bud :)
-Drew
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Review of Love or lust ?  Open in new Window.
Review by D J Fletcher Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
I like your idea here very much, I'm personally a big fan of more traditional rhyming poems over ones which don't rhyme.
I hope you will consider this to be constructive criticism but you may want to read your piece aloud and consider the following:

1, Commas, I read your poem aloud and some lines left me out of breath which is a good sign that a pause is needed.
2, Potentially consider swapping 'am' for 'I'm', just 'am' feels rather abrupt to me since you are speaking in first person and you open 3 lines with 'I'

Overall, I think this could be a lovely poem, and if you decide to make any revisions I'll happily have another read.
-Drew
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