First off, I would like to say that your imagery is great, and that I enjoyed the poem. Personally, I felt some semblance with the poem, through my life so far, and cracked a smile in the end. This, alas, is a compliment- as I have been left without much emotion for the past several years.
I would not say in the slightest to make major changes to the poem - or perhaps none at all - but the poem felt somewhat choppy to me as I was reading it. Although, how often my brain had to stop and refocus most likely helped develope the images you portrayed, so i'll leave the decision to you, as i would argue either way.
Keep writing~
Clover
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