Interesting. Not quite as good as it could have been, but definately a good read. Did he speak to all of the townsfolk he killed or did he speak to to only a handful? Why would he tell his victims this. If they are to die, would they not be able to tell any one else what he had said?
The change in appearance is a good deal. The second paragraph is nearly a big block of text, maybe break it into two seperate paragraphs.
Are the creatures marching in formation or are they a shambling line? Am I as the reader supposed to understand that the various creatures bow to this fallen warrior, or are they just following him for the time being?
Are they outside the borders of this kingdom or within the borders, either way, would it not be better to define their destination as an area within the kingdom? Fortress, City, Village, Keep, just to name a few.
Over all I believe its a good work, just needs more definition, maybe a touch of expansion. There are a couple spelling errors. Small ones at that, easy fixes.
Hrm...This one is rather insteresting. I clicked this when the update said 0 minutes 0 seconds. Sadly I had to get off before I could review, so its not all frest in my mind.
I particularly like the amount of though you have put into it. The history between the characters and those they know is well thought out. The quick action scenes were well done as well. I noticed small spelling errors that are easy fixings once you find them.
I will keep an eye out for the next chapter as I enjyed reading this one and I found it captivating, able to hold my attention.
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