It evoked sympathy from me to you, and made me go weak a little.
It's rendered a bit awkward, in my humble opinion, by the use of "best" as a line's final word twice in the last two stanzas. But that's easily overlooked, because its purpose remains and to dig much deeper into technicalities might obstruct the poignant meaning.
Words flow effortlessly. I love how, although it's a poem, every bit of it can be decoded. Many people write poems and try to be so vague and esoteric that a lot of meaning is lost (or, even worse, they largely sacrifice meaning for rhyme! xP).
In yours, not only is the writing unhindered by ostentation, but neither is the concept.
Wow! Keep 'em coming!
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