\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/evenstar
Review Requests: OFF
9 Public Reviews Given
79 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Tomorrow  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello again*Smile*

Another great poem*Wink*

I still want to offer you a few suggestions;

1-
If you use capitalized letters on the start of the some lines; you should use them on every line. Decide on the one or the other.

2-
Or.....
It's common to write ..., with 3 periods, not 5*Smile*

I quite enjoyed this poem, so
WRITE ON!!! you're good at it*Wink*


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
2
2
Review of my Bio  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hell*Angelic*

I think posting a small bio in your port is nice. A great idea!

I just have a few dcomments:

Right where do I start Well I'm 51, but feel so young
Would look better like this
Right, where do I start? Well I'm 51 years old, but I feel so young.


I live in old England just 25 miles from London have one son Barney who is 9 and a wife.
Would look better like this:
I live in [old - I'm not sure if I would include this) England, just 25 miles from London. I have one son, Barney who is 9, and a wife.

Oh another hobby of mine is finding sites on this ere web.
ere? I don't think I know that word. Sorry:-|
Also, I would add a comma after 'Oh'. Like this: Oh, and another....

I am an old romantic at heart and often can be found slaying various dragons or attempting to rescue fair maidens.( thinks " Must remember to ask if they need rescuing first"!) oh and if a maiden should cross my path, I will probabily ask for her hand and kiss it, MMMMMMMMM thats nice.
I would consider rewriting this paragraph.

As I said before, I love the idea! I hink it's nice with a small introduction of yourself for your readers.

It's written in a funny, unofficial tone. I like that *Smile*
Keep up the good work!!!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
3
3
Review of Whispers...  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)

You are truly talented! Wow!

I absoluteley loved this poem!!! The emotions are so open and it's so well written!

It takes an interesting turn at the end, I like that! *Wink*

Keep on writing, you're good at it!

Camilla
4
4
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello,

This is really, really good!

I just have a few suggestions:

1-Capitalize the first letter after each period! Also, many think that you shal begin each line with a capitalized letter!
2-
Can't you see me dieing?
Do you mean "dying"?
3-
because I want ta take you home
This should perhaps say "to".


Hope this helped*Smile*
Keep up the good work!

Camilla
4 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/evenstar