Hi AiEnma09,
I saw that you wanted reviews to help you fine tune something for your school paper, so this with be a brutally honest review, as requested. 
The usual disclaimer: The comments within this review are never intended to be malicious, callous, rude, or hurtful. I am always willing to re-review if you edit your story and want my opinion of the changes. If you do not like my review then remember this is personal opinion and you are welcome to ignore it as everyone’s opinion differs.
Descriptions: You’re got a good start with describing whistling wing and strong trees, but if you close your eyes and see that image you are left with a few holes. Was the wind whistling, screaming, roaring, shrieking, howling? The ‘strong’ trees make the reader imaging something immovable, but that takes away from the fierceness of a storm. Are they swaying, rocking, whipping, bending, or maybe leaning? Is a storm coming or has it already arrived? Can you see it from a distance, or is it coming from behind you? Was there a weather report? What smells are around?
You then say the hall was dead silent, but have already talked about the sound of the wind. Is your narrator escaping the wind by going inside where it is silent? How else does your narrator know about the sound of the wind? Also, you say dead silent, very silent. If you need to describe something twice in the same sentence then that usually means your description was not powerful enough either time. Try something like: The hallway was quiet, with only the buffered whispers of the noise outside.
Spelling/Grammar: In your first paragraph you might consider using semicolons instead of periods in order to connect your sentences so they will stand out individually while still being linked together.
“Chatting, eating, caring. And even doing assignments together.” Use a comma instead of a period and then lowercase the a to form a complete sentence.
An ellipses can demonstrate a longer pause or even trailing off, but be careful not to overuse them as they’ll lose their impact if used too much.
Short sentences are used best when they are used in moments of urgency or speed, not when you’re safe inside a school, waiting for a storm to pass.
something, something that cause me to shiver . caused. Also, when you’re writing something it is easy to be dramatic, but pause to think if the drama is actually taking away from the impact of your story. Try something like I heard the faint echo of a whispered conversation and stepped closer. The noise of the storm was still rushing through my ears, but the more I listened the more I was able to detect the rhythm of spoken words. This tells the reader that you heard voices, without all the drama of a shiver at hearing voices in a school, or the “but no, it’s whispers!”- Which makes me think of the drama prairie dog.
faint that I can't guess . Remember what tense you are using while you write. Is it past, present, or future? Try couldn’t. You change tenses many times through the tale so be sure to re-read this and make sure everything is in the same tense.
being bloated because of shockness. Shockness? Shock?
Suggestions:
In your first paragraph your goal is to say that some people helped you grow up, and in your present life, while others tear you down. You say ‘weep while kneeling on the floor’. In a short metaphorical section such as your start, it would be best not to use too much step-by-step descriptions. By that I mean that it seems like you’re guiding the reader through two stages: Stage one, weeping, stage two, kneeling. It lacks the power you are trying to convey, and also makes it seem like you are weeping while they kneel on the ground. You could try “just come to torment me” as an alternative, or something along those lines as you want to express that some people help and others harm or take pleasure in witnessing harm.
Your next paragraph is also a little unclear. You say “thought for once they were my friends” when it might be better to simply say “I thought they were my friends.” After that you begin to describe actions, but do not have complete sentences. Instead of talking about eating and doing assignments, try closer times like how long you have known them. For example, “We stood side-by-side through the last four years; witnessed everything from death to birth, romance to heartache, and defeat to victory. With them I found a place to belong and with me they had an ally.” That displays more emotion than the fact that you knew people and ate with them.
You really need to tone down the drama. Your narrator was in a hall with a storm outside, and heard voices. That does not need an entire paragraph of description. The continued battle between if she should listen in or not is also a bit much. Never make your narrator entirely innocent as that reads as a ‘here is my version’ tale and everyone knows those have inaccuracies. Don’t be afraid to say your narrator listened in because he or she was curious. When you reveal that your narrator’s friends are keeping secrets it does not need such a huge reaction. People keep secrets; if they didn’t then the word would not exist. Perhaps your narrator hears the two friends whispering and notices a particularly spiteful tone, so he or she makes the active decision to listen in and see what is wrong. Yes, your narrator could just pop around the corner with a “hey guys, what’s up?” but your reader will forgive him or her for not doing so because eavesdropping is a lesser offence than saying mean things about someone unless your narrator intends to use the information to blackmail the people he or she is eavesdropping on.
Ordinarily, when people are plotting, they don’t speak like villains giving a monolog. “You see, Hero’s name does not know that I, villain’s name, and secretly plotting to destroy his/her happiness. Oh how I almost feel sorry for the poor fool…” yadda yadda yadda. Instead try something like pointing out you’re your narrator’s faults through the eyes of the villains. Even if your reader can sympathize with your antagonists they can still understand how the antagonists are acting unfairly.
Try: “He/she is just so annoying. If I have to hear one more stupid joke, I’ll blow my brains out just so I don’t have to muster up another fake laugh.” “I’m with you on that, but it beats spending our own money, right?” “She/he’s so clingy! The other day I went to get lunch and she/he paid for us both, but I tried to step aside for just oe moment to talk to (other friend’s name) and (narrator) follows me. I tell her/him ‘Hey, I going to talk to (other friend) for a bit. I’ll meet you back at our table,’ and he/she just stands there and starts talking like he/she was invited!” “I know! I try to invite people over or go do anything and (narrator) finds some way to barge in.” “How much longer do you want to keep him/her around? The money is great and all, but is it really worth putting up with him/her all the time? If I wanted to plaster on a fake smile and be annoyed for hours a day I’d go get a job.”
At this point you can have your narrator run away in tears if you want to, or just shrink back and find a corner to sob in. Then you do not need to type out how betrayed your narrator feels as the reader can understand everything based on the conversation and the fact that your narrator is crying over it instead of getting angry. It also tied back to your beginning when you say that some people just make “me” cry.
Overall: You’ve got the makings of a good story, just need to tidy it up a bit.Keep writing, you’re doing well!
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