This style is simple and straight-forward. It is good in the sense that it provides simplicity to readers,that is , user-friendly. But I think this piece can still be improved. Maybe, I think, you can add more figurative descriptions. And you probably can have verity of sentence structures. I like it still.
This reminds me of the fiction written by Mr. David Markson,an author based in New York. His style was post-modernism. I think yours is to some extent similar to his. Simple sentences connected by a common theme rather by conventional plots, characters, and development of whole story. Somehow,it is good enough.
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