Wow, really powerful stuff I must say. You write very well and took me into Amber's mind really easily. I got really caught up in her thinking about everything going on back at the village she was at in Africa, you really did a good job describing the overall mood of the character, her feelings, and the difference between the two settings. Awesome job!!
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Just wanted to review this chapter of your story. I like where you're taking this plot, I've only read this chapter but the story you're creating here is really interesting. I would just suggest proof reading a little more, there were a few mistakes. Also maybe a little more description on what is going on in the scene. I felt like I didn't get the full effect. But I still like where it's going, feels like something Dan Brown would write haha. Keep up the good work!!
TLK
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