I am conflicted with how it begins though. On one hand, I like that you've started with dialogue and thrown us right into the major conflict of the story. However, at the same time, I almost wish I had a better idea of who Karl is. Is he the popular guy? Is he just an Average Joe type of character? I'm not sure.
Your descriptions later on, particularly of Karl's family, are wonderful. I hope we get to learn more about them, and I hope they play a vital role and Karl figuring out who he is.
Over all, the story seems just a tad rushed, so perhaps try to slow it down and give us a little more description and background, even though I understand wanting to get to the heart of the story and the action. I look forward to reading more!
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.10 seconds at 5:02am on Nov 13, 2024 via server WEBX2.