I honestly have little to say about improving this work. You not only did a wonderful job with the poem's wonderfully written and I really like the rhyming, which is one of the things that can destroy a work.
The only thing that kinda bothers me is the last line in the second stanza, "You glare, your gaze so brass". This line feels odd to me, I understand it, but I feel like having the "You gaze" in the front is a bit too much, the most likely reasoning is the repetition of the word "gaze". I would suggest replacing the first "gaze" with "scrutinize". Making the stanza now look like-
The finest crack of silver,
runs down this pane of glass.
It ruins our reflection.
You scrutinize, your gaze so brass.
-This not only fixes the repetition but adds flow and character to the work.
Other than that one line I'd have to say your poem is beautiful. Keep writing ^^
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