My first time reading through was a bit difficult to comprehend due to a lot of spelling and grammatical errors. Fixing that would enhance the value of your writing immensely. Your word choice was very impressive and I found myself looking forward to seeing what other unique words you fit in there. I like the over all concept of this, however I feel as though it needs to flow a little bit better.
Keep it up!
I really love your word choice and train of thought. You have an excellent way of tying the ending back with the beginning. Great job! I thoroughly enjoyed this.
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