I really like the visual that this story conveyed and the relationship between these men was an easy friendship to like. I picked up a few things that I would change but apart from the typo's it is my opinion and you can decide whether my ideas have merit or not. I mean no disrespect, and only wish to help to make the story as good as it can be.
The thing that I wish I knew was what time the story is set. At times it seems like present day because of the mannerisms and language, and then there were other things, like the war where sword fighters are sort after, that make me think that it is set in medieval times.
My ideas and the typo's I picked up:
save for a few stray animals and the occasional wind - I think: save for a few stray animals and the occasional gust or breeze, something like that of wind. Would sound better.
small clearing,, a young - This is just a typo: Remove the extra comma.
clutching his arm a bit. - You seem to use "a bit" a fair bit. I was bad at that also, and it was because I use it when I talk. I don't think it is necessary in writing. Either he was clutching his arm or he wasn't. He can't really do it a bit. Maybe he could do it tenderly or gingerly because it was sore.
and his brown hair was smudged in various places. - I think I know what you are trying to say, but I think smudged is the wrong word. Maybe: his hair was slick with sweat as it clung to his face.
and a small bit of armor glittered underneath the clothing concealing it. - This sentence needs some work. Again I don't see how one can have a bit of armor. Maybe: The armor concealed by his dark clothing glittered as the sun hit his chest.
“That makes it sixteen, then. Still, it’s a bit better than before.” - Again a bit can be deleted to make this sentence better. Also, I was confused by this sentence. Had Sonidow struck Kata again? If that's the case then it needs to be made clearer because this sentence: He faced a serious-looking man loosely holding a great sword. His hair, eyes, and clothing were dark, and a small bit of armor glittered underneath the clothing concealing it. The man placed the sword in the sheath on his back before turning to his opponent, panting for breath on the ground. doesn't even give a hint of that.
Kata shook his head before motioning toward his bag, grabbing it, sitting down, and beginning to bandage himself with some cloth from it. - I think bandage is too new age maybe, covering his wounds, or tying, wrapping?
“Don’t worry too much about me. Just because sword fighting isn’t my strong suit doesn’t mean I’m not used to dealing with injuries.” - I like this. It shows a lot about Kata's personality. The only thing is, I would get rid of too and add dear friend, or cousin, or brother.
“Besides, it’s about as good as it’s going to be training-wise for now. After the last time, it’s best to try and keep a low profile. You’re just lucky you weren’t easily recognizable then, Sonidow.” - I believe that this sentence needs rewording and some real work. As the reader we don't know why or when Sonidow wasn't recognized so the hints need to be in here. Maybe: "That will do me (brother?), there is only so much training one can do before going backwards and after last time," he smiled or laughed or threw something at Sonidow, "I think it best to keep a low profile." He raised his eyebrows as he finished tying a tourniquet around the worst of his wounds on his arm, "You, my (brother?) are just lucky the dirt concealed your true identity."
“You still don’t plan on telling, do you?” - Another hint needs to be here. What isn't he telling? A secret? What happened? Who that girl was? What he ate?
Kata shook his head while cutting the bandage from the roll, flinching slightly. - Like I've said, I think bandage is too new age, but that could be the time the story is set, I don't know.
You already agreed that I can't get a job without being seen soon, and it's not like I'm going to wait forever for the war to die down." - This doesn't make sense. He can't get a job without being seen soon? Maybe you mean: These times are too dangerous, therefore a job is out of the question
“Even so, I’d rather avoid the army. I doubt I’d do too well in an actual fight.” - This needs rewording also. I think army is new age also, but that could be what you want, but if not then a nick name for the army would work better in this sentence. Like the red coats or something like that.
Kata simply smiled a bit and shook his head, picking a path through the wildlife to town. - Again, a bit. He smirked or grimaced. And wildlife doesn't work here. Maybe: He wove his way through the thick undergrowth and sort out a path heading to town.
I hope I have helped and remember these are just my opinions, but if you have any questions or quarrel I'd be happy to hear from you.
KC
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