I think that this is a very unique set of lyrics. It brings feelings of beauty and home and how, no matter what happens in your life, there is always a place to return. The only think that I have a comment on is the use of the word 'swoop.' It doesn't really fit in with the other words you used to describe the scene. Otherwise, great.
That was really sweet and interesting enough to keep my attention for the entire time. With only one sentance you managed to tell an entire story that was interesting and end it off beautifully. Most of this was nonsence, but because it was so short, it was easy to follow and not as pointless as it should have been. A wonderful short story.
This is really short, but something about it gets to me. It is very sweet and without any extra words that were not needed, you managed to convery your message. This poem really left an impression on me. I couldn't get it out of my head. I hope this message reaches others as well.
A wonderful metaphor well explored and explained. It speaks of the thing that everyone has thought of and wonders about so that your readers can relate to you poetry and understand how you feel. Each line fits with the next in a well created peice of free verse to create a unique and interesting poem
This is a mindset that I well understand. My 'Dreaming of You' had the same topic, that love not yet found, but so well imagined that you can almost see it there. It is a beautiful thought with a whistful voice. The poetry is a bit incosistant, but being free verse, it's not as big of a deal as if it had been rhyming.
This was very good and except for a few problems with the tenses, everything was very good. For example, in 'I’ve had one of those urges again' 'had' should be 'have' and in 'I hated him for it' 'hated' shoud be 'hate'. You have to be very careful about what tense you are writing in and keep it consistant. Otherwise this is an excellent story of two 'real' people.
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