I like the theme of your poem about self realization and how you present it in your poem. It's good. However, the form of the poem is not that achieved. Just a suggestion. Keep on writing!
Your theme is good especially for the younger ones. I hope you lengthen your essay and write about the disadvantages of pre marital sex, cite instances of true to life story of younger ones who had pre marital sex and its outcome in his or her life. This will serve as a warning and lesson for the generations to come. Keep on writing!
You are creative and have a broad imagination. It is good that you use figurative language in comparing snow falls as it is one of the elements of a good poem. I like the fourth stanza. You succeeded in showing your theme clearly and after reading your poem I feel relax. Keep on writing!
The flow of your poem is good. However, I noticed words such as "twu' should be "two" and "carriny" should be "carrying." I noticed too some phrases must be punctuated as in line, "As I reach you my eyes remain on you" should be "As I reach you, my eyes remain on you." Just a suggestion. Keep on writing!
The depth of feeling is achieved in your poem and the flow is good too. However, I noticed the word "i" should be capitalized and the word "rythem" should be "rhythm." Just a suggestion. Keep on writing!
It's very touching and very true. I'm a mother too and it reminds me that mother's love is the purest love of all. I like the last part of your personal essay truly in our Father's arms we find comfort and home. God bless!
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.13 seconds at 3:34am on Nov 08, 2024 via server WEBX2.