I think your writing is very vivid and colorful. It has the passion of your soul in it. I think this piece needs more focus. It is a very good opinion piece, and not that it is particularly relative to reviewing your writing, it is based on relatively solid facts. I would recommend taking a step back from your work when covering topics such as these and temper your approach with reasoning. The enemy of an opinion paper is actually passion for the topic. good work and keep up the writing, the world needs more people like you.
This poem is great. I noticed that it was published in a kids book. I don't know if you were trying to target a young audience, but you nailed it. That is probably the hardest part of writing is being able to write for your audience. The other thing I like about this poem is that it is very vivid while being efficient in words. Anyone can tell a story with enough word count, but the hallmark of a well crafted piece of writing is the ability to choose words efficiently. I think this is very well done.
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