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Review of The Hunger  Open in new Window.
Review by Dwrangha Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
I think this is a cool idea, but there are times when the writing seems a little bit simplistic and repetitive. For example there is one paragraph when you talk about Patrick 'beating' on the one way mirror three or four times in the same paragraph. The image is a good one, but if you varied the verb a little bit it could have a little bit more impact on the reader.

Also, there are times when things feel a little bit over explained. For instance, when Patrick sees the mirror you include a line that says "He said, glaring into the ‘mirror’. He wasn’t blind, it was obviously a two-way mirror." I think that most readers will have seen enough cop shows and movies to assume that any mirror in such a room in two way, and so you taking the time to point it out seems unnecessary.

I like the story though, and the way that it takes place during the middle of a series of tests instead of at the end or the beginning. Implies an untold past, and future. I would maybe just read through it again and see if you can't vary your language and perhaps add a few more emotions to your characters. The facility is very stark, but emotional involvement with characters will always help to bring the reader in better than their curiosity in the story line.
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