A very thoughtful and well crafted re imagining of a timeless tale. Being a great fan of the golden age heroes I find myself torn with every new reinvention of the characters but understand that change is necessary to keep them fresh and viable to a new generation of readers.
I loved Roy Thomas' work on All Star Squadron for just that reason. You have worked up a very visual and tightly woven origin with just enough difference to shake up the character. The changes include the fact that he could now fall under the effects of the Spear of Destiny among others. Also if the new dimension has it's version of Wonder Woman this would seem to tie the Flash much closer to her mythology.
My biggest suggestion is to loosen up on your panel by panel play unless you have a specific artist in mind as the strongest works often come from allowing the artist room to add his vision to the story. overall though a very enjoyable read that I would love to see turned into a comic.
Good writing,
Duke Stone
What I liked, the imagery used to develop your alternate reality and the great character development of Vivian. I became invested in her quickly and was hoked until the end.
What I didn't like, it ended with out a resolution. A great opening chapter
Rule number one never lead with your head. A well written opener with a really fun and genuine main character. The other characters will need flushed out more to tell anything much about them. The pace and imagery worked well and overall find myself longing for more in my mind that means...
A well done and truly funny story that kept my attention through out. The being struck by one girl to the point of not remembering anything about the other was a nice touch. Pacing and imagery both worked well and you managed to create a nice touch of pathos and chaos as you spun the tale.
Lol it doesn't get any better than this one fun all the way through and the Good Doctor has emerged unscathed from yet another adventure. just a wonderful witty and fun story that kept me reading to see the next event your imagery was great as were your characters. a Great job throughout. Good writing, Duke Stone
A very concise and detailed summation of the show though the line in which you are explaining the mentor process feels incomplete as if you meant to include more information and it got left out. over all a very nice article. Good writing, Duke
A nice point f view piece told from one dog's vision of reality though to be honest few lead such an idyllic life in the wild. Since I'm not sure of the word constraints you were under with this piece it makes it hard to say how effective a job was accomplished. The work reads a bit forced and needing room to breathe but in a lot of flash fiction contests that is a simple fact of life. over all a nice story/scene which needs a bit more room to breathe.
Good writing, Duke Stone
A very thought provoking if uneven poem that possesses both power and vision. i won't go into a discussion of the rightness or wrongness of that vision and instead will just acknowledge it's validity for you. The description and imagery are really powerful but word choice could be polished and the entire poem reread with the overall flow kept in mind. A very nice effort. I'm looking forward to reading more of your work.
Hi Nicky, this is a Rising Star M2M review. Normally I'm not a huge fan of the color coded poem, instead wanting the words to paint the picture but this one was such a perfect fit with the words chosen so carefully and well that it seemed right.
What I liked.
The overall feel of the poem comes to mind first it starts as playful teasing but by the end it does indeed blossom as you can feel the passion rising as she blossoms. A very inventive and well imagined story in such a short poem.
What I thought could be improved.
Not a lot, the use of the various plants was wonderful and the only thing you could possibly do would be extend it but then that too might changer it for the worse.
Overall impressions.
A wonderful read that I want to thank you once again for sharing. Good writing, Duke Stone
I enjoyed the storoem piece more than the poem itself. Its hard to rate two separate pieces as one but I'll give it a try. The storoem had a nice, if a tad erratic flow to it . The poem's flow was really erratic. Both pieces are filled with very vivid and well dran images that set place but a poem especially is about distilling a flow of words with each needed to carry the piece forward and this one just doesn't sing for me. There was several missed opportunities for symbolism in the death of the dove but your poem follows the more concrete path. Nothing wrong with that but it does make me wonder if inclusion would have added to both flow and depth. Overall a well described poem/storoem that uses vivid imagery but could be improved in terms of flow for readability and perhaps depth to see beyond the death of the single bird. That said these are only my opinions and should be cheerfully disregarded at your discretion. Microbiology must open new avenues of thought that should be both interesting and unique and i look forward to reading more of your writings. Thanks for sharing this one. Good writing, Duke Stone
I've read through your first chapter as well as this overall concept synopsis And just wanted to let you know I think that it's really great that you've produced so much in this tale of the characters in your world. You have a lot of things to work on in the way of plot and flow but you do have a very strong sense of your characters. Keep working and writing and learning and one day you will see this published. If there's anything I can do to help let me know. Right now the very best advice I can give you is to read a wide variety of stories and learn what they have to offer. Be well and good writing, Duke Stone
Hi aralls, This is a review for Showering Acts of Joy. Thanks so much for sharing your story and the burdens of having a talking dog. It could have been worse, it could have been a horse. The following comments are offered only as my opinions and hopefully you'll be able to find some insight from them but feel free to ignore them.
What I liked.
The sense of deadpan fun you went about your narrative. The dog's desire to remain unsung and unknown. and your ability to cope with the entire situation.
What I thought could have been improved.
The scene could have been punched up with more description if word count allowed. The actual use of his accent would have been nice. "Heah now sweet chile's stop that pulling mah tail." That kind of thing and taking the antics up a level to get into true hijinks. This is a very genteel dog indeed.
Overall impression a nicely done little story that could use a bit more punch. Good writing, Duke Stone
Hi Kevin, This is a Showering Acts of Joy review. Thanks for sharing your poem. The following suggestions/thoughts/comments are only my opinions so feel free to ignore them. This is a nice coming of age poem.
What I liked.
The emotion of it you can feel the wistful mood from the first line. and the reaffirming of the bonds no matter the distance.
What I though could be improved
The flow hiccuped for me in spots and that detracted a bit and some type of breaks such as stanzas would help to separate the information blocks really aiding both flow and readability.
Overall impression a nice poem that needs some polish to really make it shine. Good writing, Duke Stone
A nicely done free verse poem that captures the mind's eye with the vividness of you descriptions.
What I liked
The descriptions, as I commented on above. Their vividness and strength lend a lot to this piece.
What I thought could be improved.
I know this is a free verse piece but the flow seemed to start and stop for me. There are lines which flow like a rippling brook and others like a raging rapid. A reread with the flow of the words in mind might help greatly.
Overall impression.
A well done poem full of strength and life just needing a bit more polish. Good writing, Duke Stone
Hi, miss blue, This is a review for Showering Acts of Joy and thanks for allowing me to read your story. This is a great opening to a fantasy piece and holds great promise.
What I liked.
The very strong and graphic depictions of the struggle that put the reader into the scene as well as the interactions of the characters.
What I felt could be improved.
Since I'm sure this is a first draft this probably more food for thought during the rewrite but a bit of it seemed stilted and so reworking the flow to make it move in pace with the action would be in order.
As an aside I'm getting the sense that this is supposed to be a medieval time setting on whatever world. The zipper however is a very recent invention so unless the world is technology skewed, such as post apocalyptic there wouldn't be a zipper around.
Overall impressions.
A bit rough around the edges but overall a well done story that would entice me to read more. Good writing, Duke Stone
And you said you didn't have a forte for humor. It's me again, reviewing this gem of instructional clarity and mirth. Another Shower of Joy shall henceforth be considered to have been bestowed upon they most worth personage. This one reminds of the Steve Wonziak quote "Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window."
What I loved.
The great detail and use of words that were utilized to communicate the concept of find the highest spot in town and chuck it over but be careful of hitting others when it lands.
This one wasn't quite as good as the Snap, Crackle, Poppins story but for those of us who work with, play on and curse profusely these magical computing machines it holds a certain charm and indeed a saving grace. Yet another one that falls into the heartbeat of the masses.(masses being computer geeks with ink in their veins). Good writing, Duke
Hi SW, This is a Showering Acts of Joy review and thanks for once more allowing me the pleasure of reading your wonderful poetry. This one carries such emotionally charged power that it crackles on the screen.
What I liked
The power of it. The images were so vivid they cut into the mind, searing like a branding iron the struggles , fears and torment of the narrator.
What I thought could be improved.
The only thing that struck me was it rambled a bit and went over the same ground more than once but then it also added to the feel of a woman turning loose her fears to another as she wouldn't calmly state her case instead would reveal it in the manner portrayed. Perhaps too real isn't something that would need improvement in this case so just call it an observation.
Overall impression.
A strong, powerful piece that will have me thinking for days to come. Good writing, Duke Stone
Hi there Brother, This is a review for Showering Acts of Joy and have to say I'm not even going to pick any nits with this one. It had me laughing all the way through so gonna just forget picking at it and let the fun roll through. If nothing else this makes for some mighty savvy advertising. Your rhymes worked well as you spun your tale and so this might be entitled brother nature , sister vine, mother compost , father lime. Sorry reminded me of an old Mark Chestnutt song so had to make the pun. Good writing, Duke Stone
A well written poem that tells a deep and moving story. and makes the reader think as they enter her world.
What I liked
The overall flow and the vivid well drawn imagery.
What I thought could be improved.
There are a couple of places which would benefit from editing and to be honest this one might work better as a more traditional form piece.
Overall impression a wonderful, dark, deep poem that could use a touch of polishing. Good writing, Duke Stone
Hi wworsham . This review is from Showering Acts of Joy. Thank you for allowing me to read your poem. This one is full of life which is a good thing.
What I liked
The vivid well drawn images and the overall flow
What I thought could be improved
The stanzas need to be streamlined or else rewritten without the form taking shape as it has. Right now it is incomplete feeling
Overall impressions
A great little poem with a lot of well chosen descriptions that needs a bit of rethinking in structure to feel complete. Good writing, Duke Stone
A nicely written poem that shows a lot about the writer. I've read through several items in your port and found the struggle that you are going through and have endured to be both compelling and heartening for it portrays a woman trying to deal with events beyond her control and her own darker side. Good writing, Duke Stone
A wonderful story that I thank you for sharing you have a few typo errors that need fixed but over all the flow goes well throughout the story and allows the reader to see the scenes as they unfold. Just as an aside , Thomas Edison is known for several inventions, including household electricity but the telephone was Alexander Graham Bell. and a bit more on how the friend passed might help as well. These are jsut thoughts and suggestions feel free to ignore them all. Good writing, Duke Stone
An interesting take on your method of character creation. Mine usually pop in my head and refuse to leave. Some pound harder than others and actually see the light of day and pen to page. I'll check out your port for some short stories to get an idea of how your characters flow for you. To me regardless of the inspiration they'll soon take on a life of their own and speak to you in subtle ways. a writer can always feel when an act goes against the established character. Your words have provided me food for thought as it allows me to look at another's methods. Good writing, Duke Stone
Hi . This review is from Showering Acts of Joy. Thank you for allowing me to read your poem. I truly love the way you've posted all versions of it to show how it evolved into your final form. I should try that but a lot of mine start as a scribbled line on a napkin at the waffle house so not sure how that's gonna work out.
What I liked about this one
Final version I enjoyed the calming flow of the words flowing smoothly like a gentle brook. The thought of the muse being akin to but not God was an interesting concept that i found well done and thought provoking. Truly I am rating this one a 5 simply because I can't picture one way to improve on it. Good writing, Duke Stone
An interesting view point, one that holds many truths. I hope that I can adapt a similar philosophy to the 1 star I received last night. I've been here years and is first time I got 1 star on anything....lmao live and learn..can't please everyone guess I'm back to pleasing myself. Hope to take a look at your main portfolio soon. Good writing, duke Stone
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