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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/duke-cristiano
Review Requests: OFF
394 Public Reviews Given
691 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I have no area to consider in a review, but I can highlight an error that is obvious to me. The best way for you to get to know my reviewing style is reading some of them. By seeing them I'm sure you can judge.
Favorite Genres
I have no one genre to focus on.
Favorite Item Types
Poetry │ Short fiction
Least Favorite Item Types
Article │ Editorial │ Essay
I will not review...
Short story │ Novella │ Novel chapter │ Novel
Public Reviews
Previous ... -1- 2 3 4 5 6 ... Next
1
1
Review of My Quiet House  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I hope you could make up a story about that house. A haunted one, maybe. Are there any scary things around at night?

Good that you have a quiet home. I like to live so quiet too.

Thanks for sharing this story about your house.

~Metu
2
2
Review of This Thing  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)


*CakeB*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*



Hello Breaker~A Vigilante Ranger~ Author Icon!

I see that you have just passed away, Dave. I'm so sorry for being at your port this time so late. I should have been here before so that you could see me reviewing you. I hope you have a good time there, my friend.

This piece of yours is very true about friendship. It came from the heart for one to love another and count him as a friend.

You idea expressed well in a good order. There is no error I saw regarding your writing. You sure have a talent in writing my friend.

Thank you for all your writings. They will be your memory of you and I will treasure all of them.

This is your Anniversary Account Birthday review. I hope you hear me from where you are.

Rest forever in peace. *Heart*

~Metu *Cool*

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3
Review of Unrequited Love  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)


*CakeB*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*



Hello horizon Author Icon!

This was a creative poem. I like the fact that you centered the poem because they look in uniform and appearing in the eyes of the reader.

Well, the content shows your perspective about love. One thing I like is your word choice that you carefully chosen.

Anyway, there's an error or two I saw in your piece, mostly, the rhyme.

I see that some word doesn't match. One that obvious to me is the word buried, which I think it doesn't rhyme with the word greed. Words that rhyme with buried are varied, married, harried, and so forth.

Your grammar usage to me is good. But not go with me on that as English is my secondary language.

Thanks for the read and please keep writing and sharing! *Smile*


~Metu *Cool*

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
4
4
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, Writing Hood,

I'm inspired in reading your accomplishments. There's so many here. You're not just an editor but an awesome writer, too.

I think I should try to get several of my pieces published. It's hard for me but this item of yours urge me to try my best. *Smile*

Again, good luck! *Smile*

~Metu *Cool*
5
5
Rated: E | (5.0)
Interesting and inspiring. Sad thing, the loss of your husband. I know you're a strong woman, responsible for your children on your own.

Best of luck you in your writing and editing endeavor, RWH!

My question, why did you choose the name Red Writing Hood as your WDC handle?

Bless you, editor! *Smile*

~Metu *Cool*

6
6
Rated: E | (5.0)
Another great cause from your Fyn! *Smile*

This was useful as it's meant to promote Writing.Com members and on the other hand, it helps raise the fund for RAOK.

Good luck on this.

Also, thanks for all that you do! *Heart*

~Metu *Cool*
7
7
Review of A Poet's Poem  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)


*CakeB*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*



Hello bertiebrite hoping for peace Author Icon!

I'm reading a real poet's poem right now. You're wise in your perspective about writing. The imagery were brilliant--quite interesting to me. Here, I admire all the lines in the third stanza as they had a good rhythm when read.

No technical error to comment upon as the piece looks groovy the way it is.

Thanks for sharing and please write on! *Smile*


~Metu *Cool*

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Review of Review Breakdowns  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)


*CakeB*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Hello Jeff Author Icon!

I truly believe in your opinion about different reviewing style that no one is wrong and no one is correct, but a well-rounded style of reviewing is better, to me, because it's easier for the author to follow-up the comment as they categorized clearly.

My reviewing style depends on a piece I consider. The first thing I do when reviewing, I scan for errors but if no error detected, I prefer to just write a review in a conversational style. On the other hand if the piece has technical errors, I prefer to use a review template in fact that I'm going to point the errors to the writer.

This article is useful by the fact that it shows reviewers two options about reviewing--one that shows a well-rounded style and its usefulness and as well as the other one.

I found this article very thoughtful and informative in a good organizational style. You always put lot of effort in what you do. Most of your works I came across on the site are very informative and clear.

Thank you for sharing this worthy article about a review breakdown. *ThumbsUp*

~Metu *Cool*

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
9
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Review of TALL Ladder...  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (2.5)
A RAOK UPGRADE BRIGADE REVIEW

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


Hello scobin Author Icon! I'm Breaker~A Vigilante Ranger~ Author Icon. I'm here to review your piece "TALL Ladder..." Open in new Window. which I came across it in "Please Review" Open in new Window.. Please remember that my review is just my opinion, so feel free to take my point that worthy and leave the rest.


COMMENT:
As my view is differ from yours in viewing a girl, I may or may not agree with your unique thought about it. The good thing here is that I'm now exploring your sentiment on the subject you came up with.

Although, I notice that most of the lines in your piece were stable on a syllable count of 5 and 6 syllables. The shortest syllable is 3 as in line 20 and the longest syllable is 11 as in line 7. Maybe you could use just 5 and 6 syllables throughout the poem to avoid wordy and to make the lines unvarying.

Just one question to ask, is this a verse of a rap lyric or sort of?

FLOW:
The content is good but my reading doesn't flow well as the poem, mostly, doesn't rhyme. I'm interested in rhyme and I found myself enjoying reading a poem when it really rhymes because it add a good taste to the rhythm.

Example of the lines that rhyme:
Uncontrollably fierce
all it does is pierce

I have a telephone
You have a cell phone

You enjoy pop, well I enjoy rock
I think thats a lock

Its time to play
That time of day

The rest of the lines in the poem doesn't rhyme.

For example:
Why should it matter,
oh thats right I forgot you enjoy ladders

I think words that rhyme with the word matter are ratter, attar, batter, hatter, scatter, flatter, platter and much more.

Anyway, I wanted to share with you an elaborated definition of rhyme which I think it worth a share for your savvy. *Down*

Rhyme, the correspondence of two or more words with similar-sounding final syllables placed so as to echo one another. Rhyme is used by poets and occasionally by prose writers to produce sounds appealing to the reader’s senses and to unify and establish a poem’s stanzaic form. End rhyme (i.e., rhyme used at the end of a line to echo the end of another line) is most common. (source:http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/501834/rhyme)

For more info about rhyme see "Rhymes - More Information" Open in new Window. by Turtle ~ KanyáthƐko:wa:h Author Icon .

FAVORITE LINE(S):
All the lines that rhyme, I set for you above, I preferment as they sound good to me.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING:
I detect several errors here so I'll highlight them below for your consideration.

I think the word thats in line 7 and 9 should be that's. Also, in line 12 the word, yous should be you've, I suppose. Another word to consider is, Jk. What's that mean--joke?

SUGGESTED IMPROVEMENT:
I believe it's better not to question the reader with such confusion words or phrases so a footnote to any ill-defined words should be provided for clarification.

Also, several poetic devices could make a poem surpass, so I suggest you to add various poetic devices to to your poem. For info about that see "Terminology and Resources" Open in new Window. by Turtle ~ KanyáthƐko:wa:h Author Icon.

As always, proofreading should be taken into account before sharing your work. Here, I remind you of that so that your piece could always stand out.*BigSmile*

OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Overall, I admire your determination and enthusiasm to write such a piece that voices your persuasion about the thing that does matter to you. That's what a real writer should do--expressing his emotional feelings in a piece or sort of for readers. For that I, before you, thank you for sharing your work with us. I hope my review might be of helpful to you. Keep writing and never fear to commit an error as it's the only way to success. Happy writing, my friend! *Smile*


Write On!


~Metu *Cool*


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For more info about "RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group" Open in new Window. click the link or the image above.


Helpful links: "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window., "Technical Support Forum" Open in new Window., "Non-Technical Support Forum" Open in new Window. and "Writing.Com 101" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
10
10
Review of Ski Rescue  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
A RAOK UPGRADE BRIGADE REVIEW


Hello Leger~ Author Icon! I'm Breaker~A Vigilante Ranger~ Author Icon. I saw your piece "Ski Rescue" Open in new Window. through Diane Author Icon's "Note: [Link To User legerdemain] posted in her goals t..." and thought of reviewing it. Please remember that my review is just my opinion, so feel free to take my point that worthy and leave the rest.


COMMENT:
I see that this is a contest entry for Short Shot, so it's worth a review. Of course, I observe your piece to see if it follows the poem format, but it seems fit the form. You did a good job in following the syllable count of 2,4,6,8,2 as a real cinquain should have. Regarding your piece, it's fine with excellent thoughts. *BigSmile*

Although, I had some chuckles in reading the scene of a rescue team helping the skiers out there as the poem shows. As I watch the picture (prompt), I learned that just two ski competitors there, having a good time skiing down the hill covered in snow and there's no accident the picture pointed. However, I like the fact that you create a scene based on your very vivid imagination. That was great of you for coming up with such a creative poem--that's how creative writing should be--an imagination. *BigSmile*

FLOW:
As I read the poem, I didn't feel a clumsy course as the poem flow reads well from the start to the end.

FAVORITE:
Lines 23 and 24 are my favorite lines.

With hands and tools dig quick
Rescue! Warm him, sled him down hill

The tone is quite caring, which I think it shows the real attitude of the writer. *Smile*

GRAMMAR/SPELLING:
In considering this part, I can tell you that you were off the hook with your grammar usage. I didn't detect any spelling and punctuation mistakes. *ThumbsUp*

SUGGESTED IMPROVEMENT:
Maybe you could center the poem, so your readers could view it in fancy figure. That's just my thought. Otherwise, dump my view on this.

OVERALL IMPRESSION:
I like this creative piece by a brilliant poet because it tells a complete story in a challenging structured poetry style that requires just few syllables. The poem's content was interesting as it tells an imagination account about ski rescue. Well done on this. *Smile*


Write On!


~Metu *Cool*


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
11
11
Review of Drum circle  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
A WDC Power Reviewers Group Review

Hello eyestar~* Author Icon! I'm Breaker~A Vigilante Ranger~ Author Icon. I'm here to review "Drum circle" Open in new Window. for you. Please remember, a review is only how I, as an individual, see your piece. Accept what you agree with, ignore that which you disagree with.


*Star* OVERVIEW:
A short piece written in a creative way--I like the style, a Japanese lantern! Of course, it really looks like it as you centered it. The one thing I mostly admired is how you tell a complete thought about Mother Earth in just few words--that is the most hardest thing for me to do, but I admit that that is the right way to set up a real poetry--make it precise with only words that work.

*Star* FLOW:
In reading the piece out loud, it flows good. I think I feel the beat with this one. You did a good job in choosing words that really works here.

*Star* FAVORITE LINE(S):
I admired all the lines here because they're interrelated to each other and that they create a very vivid idea, so, in that case, I count them all as my favorite.

*Star* GRAMMAR/SPELLING:
When I consider a piece, I try to point out errors related to grammar issues with an intention to help the writer, and to act as an editor. To let you know, there's no error I found in doing this editor's job. All goes well. Just by reading this piece, it proves to me that you've work hard on polishing this, making it shine before you posted here for the world to see. You're off the hook in grammar usage. *Smile*

*Star* SUGGESTED IMPROVEMENT:
How am I going to offer you a suggestion or two if yours is good? There's no way for proofreaders or even editors to make a suggestion. Well done on this piece.

*Star* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
The piece shows how important Earth is and as well as the mothers--women around. The imagery you portrayed throughout the piece are well done. Most of all, thank your for introducing this new form. The form description is very clear and it could help those who want to try on this kind of poetry form. Please keep on writing and sharing your creative creation(s) with us.


Write on!

Breaker~A Vigilante Ranger~ Author IconMail Icon
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WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
12
12
Review of Crushes  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
A "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window. Review

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


Hi, Nellafantasia! I've just finished reading your poem, "Crushes" Open in new Window. and was very interested in reading it. Anyway, I'd like to share my thoughts about it.

Disclaimer: The comments below are just my personal opinion, so you may disregard any of them as you see fit.


This poem is very precise and written creatively in few syllables. The rhyme scheme of a-a b-b c-c d-d e-e f-f-f is something that took my attention. What kind of form is that? I really want to know it.

Though the content is sound emotional and touching. The words you rhymed were all perfect rhymes. They make your poem similar to a rap song as I read it out loud.

As I read your poem, I detect a minor error which can easily be corrected just by capitalizing the small case i in line 9. Additionally, I notice that you didn't use any of the punctuation marks. However, I can't judge on that as I understand that some poetry forms doesn't require the use of a punctuation mark.

In considering your title, I think you should make it singular. It sounds like you have more than one crush because the word is in plural form, but, in that case, it doesn't fit the subtitle and content of your piece as you were referring to just one crush. Otherwise, consider changing your title to the one you think it could grab the reader's attention at first sight.

I think if you add some common poetic devices such as metaphor, simile, alliteration, consonance and others you might interested in using them, your poem could be more tasteful and powerful in the mind of the reader. That is just my suggestion but I did enjoy reading your inspiring poetry the way it is.

Always remember that there's a room for improvement, so if you need help regarding poetry types and poetic devices, you can find the information at "A Poet's Tool Box" Open in new Window., for free, provided by the very helpful author and educator, Red Writing Hood <3 Author Icon.

Thank you very much for sharing your work with us.

Till then, keep on writing!

~Metu
13
13
Review of Jellyfish  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, Kasia!

I just wanted to rate this very cool image you designed. This was a design and I love it. Who knows if I'm the one to bid on it. LOL

I just love yours, my friend! *Smile*

Thank you for supporting me on my cause. From the bottom of my heart, I so appreciate your positive support. *Heart*

Good luck and have a great day/night there in New Zealand.

~Breaker
14
14
Review of Heavenly Light  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hello Ken,

I'm reviewing this couplet poem for you because I wanted to have a better knowledge on this form. As I read the content of your poem, it sounds great to me because the rhyme scheme is perfect and the word choice, grammar, including punctuations are all stand out to me. This was an interesting read by the fact that you used creative rhymes, and powerful imagery which I like the most. Well done on this Ken.

Though the syllable counts for each line are not steady because some lines hold 10 syllables and some hold 11 syllables.

Below are the example *Down*

10 syllables:
Line 1 - Oh, sun! Once worshiped as a favored God
Line 3 - Your shining brilliance so oft bespeckles
Line 4 - pale arms and noses with dusty freckles
Line 5 - A star! Yet no verse praises your twinkle.
Line 7 - At night when the moon shines bright and hoary
Line 9 - Your loving embrace of flowers and trees
Line 10 - makes the air that sustains our energies
Line 11 - Oh, heavenly light; without your warm breathe
Line 12 - darkness would triumph leaving only death
Line 13 - Plasmic simplicity; flaming proton

the rest are all hold 11 syllables.

My question:
Can a couplet poetry allows different syllables structure or it should be steady on either 10 or 11 syllables? I'm not sure about meter, and I'm still studying it myself. Anyway, if you have time, please share your knowledge about form poetry, especially this form, with me.

Of course, I did enjoy reading your piece, so please put up more in your port(folio) for me to read them. Inspirational! *BigSmile*

Ken, know that the above comments are just my thoughts. As always, you may disregard any of them as you see fit.

~Breaker
15
15
Review of Dirty Nellie  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
What kind of Limerick form is your piece? I'm kind of familiar with a 9-9-6-6-9 or 8-8-5-5-8 in rhyme scheme of a-a-b-b-a. Yours looks so differ in its syllable structure.

Please let me know more about this limerick of yours.

~Breaker
16
16
Review of All Hallows Eve  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*



Hello Prosperous Snow,

I'm going to review this piece for you. Of course, at first glance, I feel my heart is beating so fast. Maybe because the scene here is so scary to me in some ways, in which I think you did a good job in hooking the reader from the start to the end.

In the story, it seems like Derick didn't missed Gina, but he proud to own her properties.

Regarding the scene, this one is my best: Returning to the living room, he stopped in the doorway as a chill crawled up his spine. If I were Derick, I would run and shouting out for help. That scene, to me, shows Derick is a brave man but if not, maybe he had mental illness after loosing Gina.

Regarding the dialogue, this one is my best: "It's Halloween, Derick," Gina's ghost laughed, "the veil between worlds has faded and we have unfinished business." What is the unfinished business she meant? I really, really wanted to know more about this. Maybe you can go further on this with your very vivid imagination.

In considering the grammar part, I think you need an article somewhere in the first paragraph: while beside him rested [a] large double pepperoni pizza.

In rating this scary piece, I'll give it a 4.5 rating but to let you know, yours was great, and I did enjoy reading it. *Smile*

Write on!

The above comment are just my thought(s). You can disregard any of them as you see fit.


~Breaker

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
17
17
Review of Intruding Mist  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*



Hello Jon,

I found this piece of yours while searching ghost genre and thought of reviewing it for you. As I read this work, I seem to admit that spirit used to visit back to say a last goodbye and maybe other significant purposes. Many spirit displayed in movies, news, and any other source of information that they weren't so well and for that case they try to visit somebody to give them a message but sadly, as you said, no one seems to care by the fact that we, the majority, didn't have an ability to see them or hear them. I know that some people have the ability to communicate with them but most don't. In the northern part of my country, spirit hanging around every corners three days after their pass. That happens all the time. Now, I seem to agree with what you were saying in this piece about them, and I wish I could hear them so that I could help them in any of their needs.

Suggestions for you: Some lines of your piece are too wordy to me. Line 4 is an example, "Many spirits coming back trying to say their final good-bye." Consider counting its syllable counts and you'll realize that it holds 16 syllables. Well, maybe you can consider the word choice there and remove all the junk word(s) that seem not fit. However, the rest seem to be good. *Smile*

Additionally, you might change this piece type from other to poetry since, to me, it seems poetic in some ways.

In considering the grammar part, I didn't detect any errors. *Smile*

Well, my rating will be around four since this piece does need more works. As always, there's a room for improvement, and one might see that only if s/he is willing to spare his/her time proofreading his/her own work.

Nonetheless, I did enjoy reading this piece, Jon.

Till next time, write on! *Smile*

The above comment are just my thought(s). You can disregard any of them as you see fit.


~Breaker

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
18
18
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)


Hello Megan Author Icon! I'm Breaker~A Vigilante Ranger~ Author Icon, and I'm here to reciprocate your review of one of my items in the past few days. My apology for getting back to you so late.

NOTE: Please keep in mind that you have my utmost esteem for sharing your work with us, no matter what my rating or comment may seem to implicate, all the suggestions made here are only opinions proposed to improve your work, and as the writer, you extremely have the final say on your own creation.


*Star* GENERAL COMMENT:
This piece is quite easy to read with no errors that I see. Anyway, is this your personal prayer to God? As I read this piece, I notice that Ballerina is your life's dream. However, goals accomplished by hard working only. I hope you will accomplish that dream of yours in the near future if you go for it.

This piece could be expanded, the way it could hook the reader. I would be happy to read it again after you expand it. Whether you are going to expand it or not, that's fine.

Keep writing and sharing! *Smile*

*Peace* Breaker~A Vigilante Ranger~ Author Icon*Peace*
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by A Guest Visitor
19
19
Review of A Mermaid's Tears  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)


Hello bertiebrite hoping for peace Author Icon! I'm Breaker~A Vigilante Ranger~ Author Icon, and I'm here to reciprocate your review of one of my items in the past few weeks. My apology for getting back to you so late.

NOTE: Please keep in mind that you have my utmost esteem for sharing your work with us, no matter what my rating or comment may seem to implicate, all the suggestions made here are only opinions proposed to improve your work, and as the writer, you extremely have the final say on your own creation.


*Star* GENERAL COMMENT:
I'm interested in reading this long poem about a "Mermaid." Do you know that I wanted to see that creature? I wish I could see one in my life. The thing that I like here the most is the rhyme. You're better off in doing that, making you a great rhymer. *Smile* I've always admired good rhymers and want to be like them. Rhyming is my favorite thing because I'm a rap fan.

Well, I'm not just interested and inspired in reading your piece, but I wanted to help you improve it. But the good news is that I don't see errors in your writing. This makes you one of the very talented writer and editor in my opinion.

My only suggestion is the word "onto" in the third stanza:

He waded out onto the strand. You should avoid redundant expressions when possible. A redundant expression has extra words that add no new meaning to the phrase, and I think by that eliminating redundant expression you will make your writing more clear and concise.

*Peace* Breaker~A Vigilante Ranger~ Author Icon*Peace*
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by A Guest Visitor
20
20
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)


Hello DonnaB~On a Roll! Author Icon! I am Breaker~A Vigilante Ranger~ Author Icon, and I'm here to review one of your items in reciprocating your review of one of my pieces in the past few months. My apology to you for getting back so late.


NOTE: Please keep in mind that you have my utmost esteem for sharing your work with us, no matter what my rating or comment may seem to implicate, all the suggestions made here are only opinions proposed to improve your work, and as the writer, you extremely have the final say on your own creation.


*Star* GENERAL COMMENT:
Donna, I think you did a good work with this piece. Your topic is quite interesting to me. I like the Statue of Liberty very much, and I wish I could see it one day in my life. It's a great monument that took the attention of many tourists from every corners of the globe. Inspirational!

Well, I'm not just interested in reading this fine poem, but I wanted to help you improve it. Anyway, here are my suggestions for improvement:

So does She hold high the Light, --> She holds
illuminating hope wherever it has shone. --> it has shown

The rest are fine with me. Thanks for sharing your work with us.

Write on!

*Peace* Breaker~A Vigilante Ranger~ Author Icon*Peace*
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by A Guest Visitor
21
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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)


Hello Max Griffin 🏳️‍🌈 Author Icon! I'm Breaker~A Vigilante Ranger~ Author Icon, and I saw your case in the list of those who have an account birthday this month, and that's why I click on your case to enter your portfolio to review one of your items in celebrating your fifth year at WDC.


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*



NOTE: Please keep in mind that you have my utmost esteem for sharing your work with us, no matter what my rating or comment may seem to implicate, all the suggestions made here are only opinions proposed to improve your work, and as the writer, you extremely have the final say on your own creation.


*Star* GENERAL COMMENT:
No doubt this is a great review forum for stories and proses. As I know, you're better off in giving insightful reviews, and I tell that after seeing some of your reviews on the public reviewing page several months ago.

However, your review forum's setup is fantastic because, I think, the font, colors and emotions you used throughout your page are quite clear, making your forum page looks clean and tidy. I like your style of using HTML tags in a cleaver way, Max.

Although the information on your page are easy to follow with no grammatical errors, but the most thing I admired here is your willingness to reward those who submit a good story or prose that could caught your interest with 1k gift points. Wow, you're a great encourager in my opinion that way.

Good luck and review on to spread positivity around the hall of Writing.Com! *Smile*

*Peace* Breaker~A Vigilante Ranger~ Author Icon*Peace*
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Review of Tale untold  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)


Hello Just an Ordinary Boo! Author Icon! I am Breaker~A Vigilante Ranger~ Author Icon, and I saw your very helpful article on poetry in The Writing.Com Newsletter (6/20/12) edited by Red Writing Hood <3 Author Icon and thought of reviewing it for you. Good day to you!

NOTE: Please keep in mind that you have my utmost esteem for sharing your work with us, no matter what my rating or comment may seem to implicate, all the suggestions made here are only opinions proposed to improve your work, and as the writer, you extremely have the final say on your own creation.


*Star* COMMENT:
After reading several poems written in an Ottava Rima, I am now familiar with the form. Thought yours is good with the rhyming scheme. The content is also great with no grammatical errors. Your word choices are pretty good since they support your content very well. Of course, I did enjoy reading yours from the start to the end because they flow reads well. Well done on this, and please do write more inspiring pieces like this one.

Happy writing and write on!

*Peace* Breaker~A Vigilante Ranger~ Author Icon*Peace*
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Review of Family Memories  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)


Hello JACE Author Icon! I am Breaker~A Vigilante Ranger~ Author Icon, and I saw your poem in The Writing.Com Newsletter (6/20/12) edited by Red Writing Hood <3 Author Icon and thought of reviewing it for you. Good day to you!

NOTE: Please keep in mind that you have my utmost esteem for sharing your work with us, no matter what my rating or comment may seem to implicate, all the suggestions made here are only opinions proposed to improve your work, and as the writer, you extremely have the final say on your own creation.


*Star* COMMENT:
Jace, I'm kind of new to this kind of form, Ottava Rima. Though I think I learn something just by reading your poem. In considering your poem content and style, I found out that they all great from the beginning to the end. Your grammar and word choices are great. They make your poem interesting and inspiring. I think I am going to try to write a piece using this form because I am inspired by yours. Write on!

*Peace* Breaker~A Vigilante Ranger~ Author Icon*Peace*
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Rated: E | (5.0)


Hello 🌖 HuntersMoon Author Icon! I am Breaker~A Vigilante Ranger~ Author Icon, and I saw your poem in The Writing.Com Newsletter (6/20/12) edited by Red Writing Hood <3 Author Icon and thought of reviewing it for you. Good day to you!

NOTE: Please keep in mind that you have my utmost esteem for sharing your work with us, no matter what my rating or comment may seem to implicate, all the suggestions made here are only opinions proposed to improve your work, and as the writer, you extremely have the final say on your own creation.


*Star* COMMENT:
Ken, I don't have much to say here since you did a good job in composing this poem. The grammar and word choice are looks perfect to me. Of course, I haven't came across this kind of poem till I saw your poem today and do the research regarding this form of poetry (Ottava Rima). You know I like your writing style from the beginning to the end because the word you placed in your poem are so powerful. As always, the rhyme part are my most favorites because I love rap music. In my opinion, you are a great rhymer, and I admire you for that.

Thanks for sharing this poem with us. I will try to compose my own in this form one day.

Happy writing and write on!

*Peace* Breaker~A Vigilante Ranger~ Author Icon*Peace*
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Hello Silent Heart Author Icon! I am Breaker~A Vigilante Ranger~ Author Icon. Though this is one of your pieces you want me to consider it, so I'm on it now!

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


NOTE: Please keep in mind that you have my utmost esteem for sharing your work with us, no matter what my rating or comment may seem to implicate, all the suggestions made here are only opinions proposed to improve your work, and as the writer, you extremely have the final say on your own creation.


*Star* COMMENT:
This poem reminds me of the movie Treasure Island. I liked your character. You know, I like how you wrote this poem in storytelling style. I think you did a good job in telling a story in just few words. This piece is very interesting to me as I read it many times. In considering reading yours, I found that some of your stanzas are similar to the villanelle poetry in terms of some repetitive lines throughout the poem.

Actually, here's my favorite part:

Then he started to sing..,
"we are the heroes in the horizon.."
"aye,aye "captain said his gang..

Aye, aye is an old version of yes! Lol, this is how pirate used, on-board, most of the time. lol

*Star* SUGGESTION:
I would add and throw in the word "to" before "said" so that it reads Aye, aye "captain said to his gang."

I like your writing style so keep on writing and sharing yours with us. Write more!

*Peace* Breaker~A Vigilante Ranger~ Author Icon*Peace*
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