*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/dstrehle
Review Requests: OFF
5 Public Reviews Given
9 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Zachary Michaels
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hey... good stuff here!

You did a great job with conversation. Your dialogue was very to-the-point. It was also very educational in that it provided translation to an unfamiliar language, which creates interest in itself. It wasn't overdone. It brought an excellent authenticity to the story.

I also like how you stayed away from the abused pots'o'gold and follow-the-rainbow storylines. Although the shillelagh isn't an uncommon item in Irish lore, it proved a nice focal alternative to the more common associations and storylines about peasants stealing poor Mr. Leprechan's gold.

You've laid out a very clean structure here. At first, I was compelled to suggest more description but, after re-reading several times, I couldn't suggest more description anywhere without taking away from the idea of your sentence or paragraph. You exercised excellent control here.

You're a clean writer and a straight shooter, talents desirable in short story writers. Keep the ink flowing!
2
2
Review of Shining Armor  
Review by Zachary Michaels
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Extremely interesting and thoughtful plot with an excellent twist at the end. Your discriptions are good, but they tend to read like vocabulary you just pulled out of a medieval reference book. Might want to add something of your own description, something personalized by his family... a crest, perhaps.

I noted the story started with an immense fortress and then turned into an old stone keep in the second paragraph. I can visualize a 'resplendent knight' exiting an immense fortress, but the shiny armor clashes with the 'old stone keep' description.

I found your focus on the knight purposeful, similar to the strategy used in making the movie 'Deer Hunter,' in that you've created a bond with the main character and took the attention away from the upcoming twist. Good job.

++Keep the ink flowing, friend.
3
3
Review of Item Statistics  
Review by Zachary Michaels
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This article contains an excellent description and provides a well-written and instructional tutorial on how to effectively use and understand the rating system. It definitely helps me to better comprehend the value of the rating system and to apply its use in analysing feedback on my submitted articles.
3 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/dstrehle