What can I say? I loved this piece! So descriptive and evocative, such wonderful use of imagery. I will definitely be following up and reading more of what you post.
Some comments; please understand that these are my own opinion and are only intended to be helpful.
'"Maybe" - she speculates' - I may be wrong here, as I'm not entirely sure, but I don't think this is correct us of the hyphen. It jarred a bit on reading and applied the flow a little for me.
Use of the ellipsis ( ... ): The ellipsis is treated as a word, so there should be a space on either side. In addition, while I see what you're trying to do with it (and I've done the same in much of my writing!), it would be more correct to use periods here instead. In my own (inexpert) opinion, the prose flows just as well.
Honestly though, I can scarcely believe that English is not your first language. You write it better than most native English speakers.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/druid
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.12 seconds at 10:18pm on Nov 07, 2024 via server WEBX2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
