Hi,
This is my review for your poem towards an entry fee in the "five star poetry contest".
I think that in you poem you spoke of the aspect of fools that should be pitied - you used the term simpletons.
I was confuzed through the poem, and had to read it till it made sense. I tried to interpret the passages that confuzed me most. I hope I understood your intent.
1. "pontificate"- English isn't my first language, but I translated that word and it's meaning in the translation was to be
arrogant or dogmatic or like a pope in a sermon. So in this contents, I don't understant what you were saying in the first
stanza..
2. "Is his folly acquired or
Just a part of his fate?" - I think you meant to ask whether fools make by intention mistakes, stupid decisions, hurtful
things, or is this folly imprinted in them, are they clueless?
3. "If folly is acquired,
This can’t be voluntary." - I think you meant, there is no folly a fool can acquire. Fools have no tendency or a will or
enough imagination to have extreme follys. (of the kind that can make them seem like simpletons)
4. "Their folly, they can’t help it.
They’re not simply faking." - This folly is enforced on them without theire knowledge, they are unaware.
5. You concluded the poem saying fools can be better then the wise, I guess they do, because they can be inherently
good just as the wise can be inherently good. In my opinion, both can be inherently bad as well, they are
people.
6. I have a quote I think applies to your poem, from the "Proverbs of hell" by William Blake:
"The selfish smiling fool, & the sullen frowning fool, shall be both thought wise, that
they may be a rod."
That passage from his poem means the anonymous crouds, the herds of people, can be thoughtless. They can be used
as a rod (against someone, a philosophy, a way of life, even against themselves). But first you have to know how to
capture theire faith, and once you did they won't think things through.
The reason I thought that applied to your poem, is your description: "Dislike folly, not fools."
And passage:
"It can hence be surmised, fools
Aren’t of their own making."
7. As for structure, rhyming, word choice- I'm clueless with structural forms, but I thought your rhyming was very accurate
and flowed well, though I sometimes felt like it was taking over the poem, like you chose some words only cause they
rhymed well and not for their contribution to the poem's atmosphere and ideas.
For that reason I personally found rhyming inhibits understanding of the arguments you made.
On the other hand, this poem enfolds a lot of complex interpretations and that's really great, and maybe it's because it's
rhymed, that had me double think every line.
For conclution, I learned by intrpreting your poem, I hope I wasn't totally off the track :)
I rated it a 4.5, cause I in my opinion, clarity is the most important thing in a poem. |
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