Hi, Irmclaughlin: I feel the subtle intensity of this poem, and it reads and is written in good form.
I feel duel impressions of the content: one impression is of the frustration and despair of seeking the Ultimate source of life as revealed in nature, and the other feeling of thought seeking truth through the awareness of its nothingness without knowledge of the source of its creation. I know I am wordy, forgive me...and your descriptors in each sentence were nice too: great job..keep writing!
Hi, NorahMae: Great prose about being overwhelmed! Lots of great description: contradiction,
emotions arguing, thought taking the stage for a millisecond, and being booed off until the next thought. The general 'chatty' nature of the mind is well displayed visually by your selection of words in each description. I don't have any suggestions as to making 'changes'
as this would just feed the battle already going on in the submission (joking!) Keep writing on, and good luck in the New Year!
Hi, Wordwic: This is a cute poem, and from a child's view, I presume, which is a good assumption considering your background in writing. It projects well the feeling of boredom of the two sisters. My mind is visualizing sally singing the silly song, and leaves it up to the imagination as to what the song was...and the rhyme was handled well considering the context of the poem. Overall, a refreshing poem, and good luck on the children's book.
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