This is good. It almost sounds like a song. Especially 'happy thoughts must be injected, kept protected. This false reality must be accepted' It has a really nice sound. Although, I'm sorry you feel this way... I can relate though and I want you to know if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here for you. Take care,
Donna Lyn
This is very well written. I especially like the endings to the first four stanzas. The words speak loud and clear to what 'she' is going through. There are so many people that walk this lonely road and you stated the feelings in an honest fashion.
Donna Lyn
I have chills. You said this was a true story and I believe you. Thank God for moms, either physically here with us or watching over us from the other side.
Donna Lyn
Another beautiful, if tragic, piece of writing. Your words are so, so, I can't find a word better than beautiful to describe them.
You asked if anyone aside from Dr. Sanders knows your daily battle, I do. I have been there, and only by the Grace of God did I survive. I have been on death's bed (by my own doing) many times, yet here I am... I don't want to sound trite, but you too will survive. It will take time, lots of therapy, and the belief that you did nothing to deserve either the abuse or his suicide.
Take Care of yourself, and I'm hear if you need someone to talk to.
Donna Lyn
Very well written. I took that walk with you and felt the pain and emptiness that you and liza feel...
I love the description of the water. Actually, I enjoyed the whole piece and look forward to reading more.
Donna Lyn
This is very well written. It helped me to read it. Life is so hard since I lost my son. Even tho' it's been almost twelve years, the pain never goes away. I really love that you know your husband would not choose a mournful place if he had just one hour on this earth.
Thank you for sharing. Keep writing.
Donna Lyn
This is such a sad poem. Are you the victim in this? If so, I am so sorry. You did not deserve it. This is very well written. Again, for such a young girl, you have great talent.
Donna Lyn
Very well written. Your description of the poem was right on. Small, short, and to the point. Sometimes less can say so much more. I especially like the last two lines, 'your face, your deception'.
Nice job, keep it up.
Donna
This is very well written (although I am sorry you had to feel this way). The first four lines really grabbed me. I have a couple suggestions that might be helpful for the reader:
1. The last line reads, 'could it ever feel whole and complete?' Since you are talking about your soul, I was thinking it might read better, 'will I ever feel whole and complete?'
2. Maybe a hint to how your soul was injured.
The lines, 'But the vessel is hollow, so sore and weak' are sadly beautiful. I can't get those words out of my head.
Keep writing.
Donna
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