Since I have an interest in the history of the Templars, the title grabbed my attention. The chapter is well written and has a natural flow. The author uses descriptive language well; giving information that creates a picture and encourages one's mind to imagine the scene more graphically. One suggestion I have would be to explore the possibility of eliminating the preface to the chapter, and perhaps writing a chapter before chapter one that tells more about the Templars and concludes with the information provided in the preface. My reason for the suggestion is that the first paragraph of the chapter with the line "with what looked like two dummies tied to a stake in its middle," lost its dramatic flair, as the reader almost surely knew what was to follow, some type of recreation of the 1314 event. Separating them may keep the reader from jumping to that conclusion, thus maintaining the suspense or intrigue. Otherwise, great stuff and I look forward to chapter 2..
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/dmjames
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.09 seconds at 9:33pm on Dec 22, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
