Not bad! Not bad at all John! I read all three chapters and the prologue as well.
You have a fine quality to the way you write and I like the length of your chapters. They're not too long and are just right. I really enjoyed the way the four inquisitors talked to each other and the personalities you have for them. They feel very distinctive and I get the feeling they're going to play an important role in the story. I kind of hope we get to see them convert to fighting on the side of "good". Maybe if Sunder gets his way, eh?
You also seem to have a very detailed futuristic world I'm also intrigued to learn more about. I admit your placement of information describing it makes me wonder if there may be a better way to include it in more of showing rather than telling manner. It's a minor thing and even if you decide to leave the description the way it is I think it still works. The places you have it in the story is brief enough where it doesn't interrupt the flow and things keep moving forward. In other words don't overhaul your story if such a suggested change dramatically alters what you have. It still very good.
I want to say more but I have a time constraint... aka my wife is calling me away from the computer. Hehe, but I also want to go to her too... so if you have any specific questions or if you want me to focus in an area of your story you feel needs feedback let me know.
This type of short tale certainly isn't for everyone, but I enjoyed reading it. Incest has always been an attractive topic of mine to read, but I've never found an the urge or perhaps the confidence to write about it. I appreciate you having the courage to share this erotic tale. I admit I haven't read a lot of sex stories or erotic tales, but I know I should since I'm in the process of trying to write my own werewolf erotic novel. I say novel because I have an epic storyline planned and some very interesting sex scenes. Reading the way you described some of those intimate details and the use of vocabulary will surely help expand my own literary skills, so once again I wish to thank you for that.
If you'd care to read and comment on my story I'd greatly appreciate it. The title is still in work but for now it's called Love For a Daemon
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