Your creative imagery is marvelous, and I really love the fantasy-land concept. That said, why are you restricting yourself to such a tight verse format? For what appears to be an epic story patterned along the lines of Sir Gawain or Beowulf, you have chosen a very repetitive pattern. I think your story would flow better if you loosened this stricture.
Big fan of MR here; did a whole semester study on it.
This is a great little story; you have a few loose ends I suspect are deliberate but it is really well written and a fine example of what I believe the genre has evolved into. I also like the hints that might lead to other stories--hmmmm?
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