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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/deep_thoughts
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6 Public Reviews Given
6 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Deep Thoughts Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Isokarifrancis, there's a small verb agreement issue in this personification of 'Talent'. It should read: "...I make even the abject [reject] great leaders." Or alternatively, you could drop the "I make" so the whole piece reads: "'Talent' declares: When identified and deployed, even the abject rejects great leaders."
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Review by Deep Thoughts Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Tim Chiu,

As a fellow, soppy romantic, I've written many poems like this... and they've been nowhere near as interesting. While the first and final stanza seem extremely personal and do not really appeal to me as a third party outside of your relationship, the middle two stanzas create an interesting contrast between your perception of the world through your relationship and the barbaric reality of politics, vitriol, and rhetoric.

Thanks for the read :)
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Review by Deep Thoughts Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, the imagery in your poem is gorgeous. The words billow out and then fall back down in a soft pirouette. Is there a reason some of the words are emboldened in bold font? It seems a little counter intuitive to emphasise whispered, though if it is for a competition then I guess that makes sense.
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