The title alone 'Real Estate' sent shivers down my spine, reminding me of my own plights having bought a house for cheap that I have just recently discovered is a money pit (now I can relate with the movie, yay me!).
Cynicism aside, I really enjoyed this piece. It was a real treat that really grabbed me, and had me glued. I loved the twist at the end, as it treated me with a surprise ending, and all points lead very well to that conclusion.
The syntax is also very comfortable, setting the mood to bring the story at a great breeze, much in the fashion of a realtor actually presenting a home for sale, and sold I was. Great attention to detail, setting an distinctive atmosphere about a story I wouldn't mind rereading. Awesome work!
Well that was a real pleasure. It has been quite a while since I have read a dark fantasy story that has gripped me. Granted I delved only in the second chapter (I must read the 1st chapter now), you handled the attention to detail quite well, from the kaleidoscope colorization of parts of the forests, to the withheld dangers that loom in the background, resisting to crop up and show themselves. The conversation with the soothsayer was also charming and mysterious, sprinkled with some wit. It was a great slice of literature that seldom is as effective as what you presented today. Thank you for the privilege of reading it.
This is in the making of a good story. The setting is atmospheric. The protagonist very defined by motive, and the confrontation at the end held a good sense of closure. Unfortunately, there were a great deal of grammatical errors: some run-on sentences, some 'i''s needed to be capitalized, and a couple of misspelled words. In all, I was captivated by the storytelling. I look forward to seeing a more-completed entry of this story, because it does hold great promise to being something quite magical.
I really enjoyed the short story. The character development formed a great binary between the uncertain protagonist who suffered with possible amnesia and the certain healer who is filled with wisdom and guidance. It really provides a window showing the internal problems people suffer with not only understanding who they are, but undermining their own potential, and forgetting the things that truly make them strong.
What a wonderful poem about refraining from submitting the temptation of defeat and, when all stakes are held against you, you are true to yourself and don't submit to conformity. It hints that the eternal struggle in necessary for the bliss of personal acceptance in an otherwise sinister world wracked with misery and judgment. Very creative, and the poem really coincides well with the image of the angel who is suffering with her own inner turmoil in an endless fight for achievement.
The structure in this poem is most appealing. I like how words from the first line mirror the words in the third line, and the middle line acts as a great bridge that links them. There is a flowing sense of time that manifests throughout the lines reminiscent of the fluctuation of the past and future and how the present is affected by and effects each state. Very thought-provoking.
Very heartfelt observation of a family through the generations; how each person passes on a quality not only of themselves but of their descendants and how their descendants live on as a reminder of their ancestors. It set a great mood for who everyone is as people, and the histories they carry with them. This was a great poem!
Very incredible horror story; dark and bleak. I loved how everyday the characters seemed, and yet they were intrigued to uncover the mystery behind the Fun House. It kept me intrigued to the very end, and I found the short story a very intense ride. Highly atmospheric!
Very heartwarming and enchanting. There was a sense of magic in the words used, and the description really brought to life the setting of the story. The characters were real to the point that I was driven into them, felt empathy over them, and at times imagined the possibility of relating with them. At the end when closure should have been dominant, there was a promise of hope.
Very nice and poignant tale, I really enjoyed the layering, and how much ground you covered in such a short saga. The structuring was very concise and just enough to give someone a feel of the events and characters therein. It was great all around!
I really like the poem, it is both disconcerting as is enchanting on the evolution of language. I also enjoyed how, even in light of the scattering of a language dying out, you managed to add a bit of comic relief at the end. Very crafty choice of words, and also very informative and played for a great social and historical satire on language, all in four stanzas. Great job!
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