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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/darkstardragon
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23 Public Reviews Given
23 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by veemon657 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
well i'll be damned this is one hell of start.
ok first the good things i noticed
1 plot seems good, (definitely caught my attention at least) 2 very well worded in describing the details including actually naming the plant he was in (most stories i've read including one not on this site have just said something like this strange plant or whatever was growing here) 3 you didn't jump from one scene to the next it it steadily flowed together (i've seen stories that have good promise at first but then it starts jumping around and ends up throwing me off and i end up getting confused) 4 I LOVE DRAGONS 5 i like how you intertwined the accents that were truely believed to be used in medieval times it fit the setting of the time period very well
and now the not so good things i noticed 1 as i said it was very detailed but that was also not such a good thing as an avid writer i've learned over the years that yes too little detailed and the reader will leave before finishing but too many details and it could either make the story shorter than expected or give away more of the plot than you wanted (something i learned the hard way) 2 to me it seemed like you had rushed into the battle scene yes it was an excellent read hands down but sometimes people like to be lead into it like how the girl MADE the deal with him or when it happened 3 to me it would have been better if you had given a little bit more info of Zahilla origins like where he came from how did he live before he came to that village what kind of place he grew up in ya know that kind of stuff well i'll be following this one for sure it sounds promising and exciting
here's a little something for the good story use it well
dragon out
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Review by veemon657 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
niice story i i found it interesting that a phoneix doesn't keep rencarnite form it'd ashes endeffenity this story is very detailed and indepth i'd like to see a second part explaining what happens next with there baby and the baby phoneix if you want to. other than that this is pretty much perfectly written story
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Review by veemon657 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
very good all chapters are well written and are clear as crystal plot is good all writers who particapated really know what there doing i still have a lot to learn since i'm new here but i'm sure i can help but it was some sotryies i had already read here that made me dicide to join up and start my writing on a new level i give you gife pionts just for writing this but i hve none unfourtitly
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