Hi mars   ,
Here's another review from Showering Acts of Joy
I'm happy to comment here, but please remember that these are just my opinions, if you disagree that's cool. No harm done. 
Additionally, I do hope that it is alright to comment on the whole of the book in a single review; it seems to make more sense to me.
Impressions
I'll keep this general for now. Your writing style seemed odd when I first started reading, but then I slowed down and picked up the beat. I would guess that your first calling is poetry and lyrics, not prose and paragraphs.
Sure enough, running around in your port, it seems that such is the case, preference is given to poetry over prose.
Commentary
Specifically, I like the imagery and the intense level of engagement you created in the first chapter, where she's struggling against the night, against being awake, against all things. Generally, your introduction seems sound, and I would certainly read further, as by the end of the first part I am truly and whole looking for the conflict and overall plot of the novel.
Jumping forward to the next portion, concerning the unhappy events described, I'll leave off at highlighting what an engaging and powerful style you've evoked with that portion. Yes the whole of the story with the Egyptian young man was told with a relentless, brash, no-frills and breathless manner, but in doing so we get a true feeling from the reading and even now, three days after initially reading the post, I'm still clear on the content and moved by it.
Then we are dropped again, into something completely different (yes, I'm hearing Monty Python's music here). The third chapter is an interesting divergence from the normal bits, in that it's referencing literary material and fan-fiction and such. What you've set up as a query "Can I do this?" has an interesting premise, but there are so very many ways you could run with it.
Thus I'll just reserve commentary to answering the two questions that jumped out at me. First, yes you can totally do something like that, it's tricky if you don't know your source material, so watch more. But it sounds like you've got that covered. The second question seemed to have to do with a matter of relevance and endurance. Thus in answer, books and good writing never go out of style. I'm still reading fan fiction about a series that was only ever aired on BBC and CBC, and stopped it's initial airing over seven years ago, probably more.
Finally, you come to a complete and open admission of intent and such. The fourth chapter was just fine.
The purpose of Nano is/was to write; not to write well, often not to write coherently (just take my efforts for example), but generally just to write. Biography, literary, total fiction, a fifty thousand word dialogue based comic if you want to, but just write.
It seems you nailed that concept well. I have no idea if you made the goal this year, I only barely did and at that, I ended up deleting fully half of what I wrote (note to self, next year try writing before work in the morning, not after midnight when it seems I have no brain left at all).
Conclusion
You've got a great lyrical writing style when you drop into the narrative, and it was truly engaging to read. In the brief bits of narrative you've provided there are at least three powerful story lines. I'm not going to suggest that each or all of them together would be novel length, they may be, but the joy in writing is to just write the story and see where it goes, how far and when it stops.
Good work, I like the writing style and I'd like to offer a sincere congratulations on the lessons learned from your attempt at NaNo this year.
Daniel Casey
Duke-CastleChaos 
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Slaying Negativity and Showering Joy
One Review at a Time
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