this poems contents are possibly (unless I'm missing something) only relevant to the writer here...I felt more explanation was needed..
you set out using 7 syllable lines then your stresses fell apart in the last line of the first stanza...
2nd stanza begins with 9 syllables, no problem it can happen but then it deteriorates...
2nd line 8
3rd line 7
4th line 8 and "to what such cost" that is awful grammar...
Overall the poem has something that only the poet knows, ie a dream... but you could have done a lot better had you used your syllables and stresses better...Kind Regards. Dan
A very good effort here but it needs more work...To get the rhythm, or flow in the stanza you must get the syllable count right. If you can do that you will then find it easier to deal with the stresses involved...Dan
A good sonnet with heartfelt words that I could connect with...One tiny word of advice is that you should if at all possible count your syllables in sonnets of this type...Dan
I was enjoying this lovely poem until I came accross [Sum 1] you should take more care but nonetheless very pleasing...I would certainly have given it a higher rating were it not for that lapse in concentration...Dan
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