This is a very nice story. You've captured perfectly the physical and emotional irritation of poison ivy. I love the juxtaposition between childhood and adulthood, and the reality that no matter how mature or wise we become in our adult lives, we're still that little kid desperate to dig her (his) nails into the swollen, itching flesh.
Wow! This was really good. Very passionate. Not that it matters in an emotionally charged piece like this, but the rhyhmes were solid, and thought-out; I could hear the poem in head. I have to say that I agree with every point in there (with the possible exception of impeachmentment -- that's too easy for them; they should be prosecuted as war criminals), but I could never articulate my anger the way you have.
Very nice; I can't wait to see what else you have.
I really like this story. I love the concept of apathetic gods. So much has been written and said about benevolent gods and vengeful gods, but the reality is, if gos really did exist, beings with great power and no one to answer, i think they be the ultimate form of spoiled, bored rich kids. And you captured that well.
"Of course the servants did not really know where they were at the moment, such was the pleasure of the gods to allow their people to serve them here. And they would never remember having been there."
I love that! the gods kidnap their worshippers to use as servants, then erase their memories. And all the while the mortals gone on exalting then. Very nice.
A question: Is this scene supposed to be exclusively from the POV of Now'chi, or is it omnicient. It seemed like for an instint you were inside the head of Edrick. If you were going for omnicient, you might want to establish that earlier. Just a suggestion.
Anyway, very nice story and I look forward to readind more.
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