I think you did a good job on this one, it's hard to write prose without rhyme and I think you accomplished your objective quite well. I especially liked "blanket of dreams" and "dimples of tracks in the fresh snow". This was a well versed idea that is difficult to accomplish. One suggestion, you might consider using more punctuation for definition of your emotions and what you are wanting the reader to experience. Otherwise, good job!
Fantastic! You relayed the excitement of the moment perfectly. I thought it would be a swarm of bees but the biting black flies was a great twist. Thanks for a wonderful story with perfect visual stimulation.
I love this, you captured exactly how I felt when I was in my first year of HS. I'd almost forgotten how frightened I was, a new place, new kids, new teachers and a different way of learning. It was all so scary. You did a great job, thanks!
Interesting read. I too have a great fondness for summer and miss it the day before summer ends. I like the way you led us right into Fall and how many times we welcome the coolness. I too am a woodworker, I love the feel and texture of it in my hands. Thank you and have a really great Winter. I look forward to summer already.
The intent is there but I think you need to re-read your story because there is a lot of grammar problems and it makes your story hard to read. There is potential, however, so give it a second try and see what you are able to fix. I'd love to read the rewrite.
"The ground littered with empty pringle packets, half-eaten takeaways and beer bottles".
How did you see these things at night and only saw the black silhouettes of drunken men. It doesn't seem to work in my head but perhaps I'm look at it wrong. Anyway, good beginning, hope you finish.
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