I think your poem is delightful. Very fine rhyme and rhythm. It has a melodious quality that is pleasing to the ear. The imagery was great. I could see those little bees buzzing about. I guess they made honey together. Forgive me for the very poor association. I am looking forward to viewing more of you work in the future, and welcome to writing.com. Very nice work. Doc. Craig
Hello RVP:
I enjoyed your personal experience with ageing. I am sixty-four years old and have had many similar situations. Recently, I was leaving the check out line at a grocery store when a well intending young lady clerk asked me if I need any assistance with my purchase. It was a half-gallon of milk and a package of gum. Very well done. Doc. Craig
Dear Arch:
I think that was a delightful story. The imagery was very good. I liked the cute names you picked out for your characters; "Spiffy sparrow, Poxy, Moxy", and the like. Your story has a comfortable flow to it, a combination of prose and poetry. However, I wish Beaver would have reappeared. Nice job, thanks, Doc Craig
Hi Kara,
I liked what you wrote. I wish you would have described his dwelling as a abandoned shed, or fort that kids built, rather than a cave. Perhaps, his eyes scanned the ground for something discared to eat. Otherwise, and this is only my opinion, that is really a neat short story. I was wondering how you were going to resolve it at the end of the story. Great job, to me the ending was ambiguous. We could say, he was saved and all is OK now. On the other hand, he was quite foolish for running out on an interstate. I often wonder, what kind of crazy people leave religious tracts in public bathrooms? In your story, they left it in a can and its message killed an innocent man trying to survive. It's a good story. I could go on and on about it. Keep it up. Sincerely, Doc Craig
OOOH, that was good. It's a beautiful 40 degrees here in Nebraska and your poem helped me to feel better. I liked your choice of words (the doth's, wilt's and avail's), for mayest I say...they put a nice flow to it. The rhyme and rhythm is great. The content, what you are saying, made me feel hopeful and peaceful...very existential anxiety reducing. Change your Bio, you are already a very good writer. Take care now, Doc Craig
Hi Jammin John:
I liked your poem. I was just thinking...hmmm, you might get a little flack from Christians who may say that Christ would have forgiven him. However, these feelings are coming from the carpenter. They might argue about who laid him down. Well fiddle faddle, who cares...do they know for sure anyway. Your poem is good...you got me thinking. I really liked the imagery, especially the crow (cocking its head and watching from a distant barren tree. Birds do cock their heads and stare with one eye. Good observation. Yep, that is nice work of art. Good prose poetry. Sincerely, Doc Craig (AKA C J Schnase)
Hello Saintgoody:
I enjoyed your poem. The imagery was excellent- silence behind the noise, to see the stars behind the dark clouds-established a theme in my mind of someone who is managing their lives on a consistent and determined basis. Very well done and keep writing. Doc Craig
Hi Arabella:
I enjoyed your prose poem. It reminded me of the developmental stages I went through as a young person. I think most of us blossom through are various life experiences. Unfortunately some don't. I liked your use of metaphors-they are more emphatic than metaphors. For examplel, "Is a yellow rose among the red, a piece of bread tossed into a pond." Great work and welcome to Writing. Com., Doc. Craig
Hi Kiya Sama:
I enjoyed your short story. By the way, I am a male, an old male who graduated from High School in 1960. I will never forget an English teacher who used me as an example of how young men "should" dress. White shirts were popular in those days and I used to always button my top button everytime I entered her class. Frankly, I was afraid of her. Haven't things changed a lot. You are a very good writer and syntax and images were great. I think you used all the senses well...even the smell of roses. I am from Nebraska which is not far from Atkinson. As you know Nebraska is also quite conservative...even today. Great work, thankl you, Doc. Craig
Oh, I got a real kick out of that...I'm still chuckling. I believe people need to stand up for themselves, especially when they deserve it. Shortly after I retired a lady ran over me at forty-five miles per hour as I was crossing a marked intersection. It took me four years to collect-after a lengthy jury trial-and initally they only wanted to give me two dollars. I am a retired psychotherapist and one of my occupational hangups was that I was too passive in my personal life.I really liked what you wrote and, of course I could go on and on. I liked your style. By the way that was almost rhymed prose. I have a few jokes in my portfolio too and am sure I will get back to you again. Your handle is perfect for humor. It reminds me of some of the hilarious movies about the middle ages where floggin and catapulting was a favorite past time...am having a senior moment and can't remember who directed those. Take care flogamocker...good work. Doc Craig
I enjoyed your story very much. I especially enjoyed the imagery...how the blind man perceived the ocean, clouds, Yumi and his surroundings. How he honed all of his senses to compensate for what he had not. I liked the presentation, plot, climax to resolution. I guess I'm saying I really liked it all. Doc Craig
That was funnier than the dickens. This is the first madlib I have ever done. I thought...what do they mean by numbers, etc.. Now I get how to do it. Boy I'm using the vanacular. Anyway, that was really fun and also a learning process. I guess I'm going to reach out and ask you for a favor. Would you look into my portfolio-they are all short writings- and rate a couple of them that have not been rated. When I was new to Writing. Com I didn't have enough GP's to give away. And I hope you get this email and G.P's ...excellent job. Doc Craig
I have recently been reading Ted Kooser's-Poet Laureate of the United States-book, "The Poetry Home Repair Manual." Your writing and his have reinforced my joy in writing poetry. We have a lot of freedom when writing poetry. I want to thank you. He goes so far as to say, "There are no rules in writing poetry." Thanks again. Doc. Craig
I made many associations to this wonderful piece- or should I say peace- of work. I really liked it. Rationality reigns and pathological fantasy evaporates, as your work suggests. Please don't get mad, but I would have given you a five rating if it were not for some typo- which slowed my reading pace down, for example, "Socrates rose to his feet at(?)or and?)quietly tapped a gavel." Now you can correct me on my grammer. Anyway, I have recently learned to proof read my materials more. I just thought it was great and am looking to read more of your work. Doc Craig or cschnase P.S. One more little comment...can one quietly tap anything? Gently?
I thank you for your insightful article. I had to ask myself, "for what reason am I so sensitive to what may have been constructive feedback. However, It would have been more helpful to me if this individual would have gone into more detail and given examples of my "poor grammer". Actually, your article helped me assert myself...to myself, like you said it is my article and I can do with it as I wish. Thank you very much. Doc Craig
I like this poem, especially "Birds Singing a familiar,
but unnamed tune..with the cricket keeping time. I thought, sure, people can identify a bird by its sounds, but has anyone ever had the gall to apply a title to their God given melody. I didn't like the feel of forest floor, gravel sand under my bare feet. I made the association and could actually feel that. I wish you would have left it sand...that feels better. I wish it could have been a bit longer. It made me nostalgic. I am going to rate it high.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/cschnase
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.12 seconds at 11:31pm on Dec 26, 2024 via server WEBX2.