Hi
I loved it. It was funny, clear, clean, (writing wise, no extra adjectives needed) and crisp.
I loved the way you described the "cocky" and how true it is that it may be the last thing you leave your kids, if nothing else.
Keep your points and keep on writing.
Hi
I thought it was well written, well thought out, and fun.
The writing flowed. I didn't find any awkward sentences or thoughts, when reading the piece. A micro of a guy's life and how a good day makes you feel good.
The scenes and sequels were good. I didn't spot any spelling errors or actually anything wrong with it.
So its a good story, well written, interesting and as I said Fun.
Keep up the writing.
Hi
What a great series of stories about the coin. You told the story in a smooth effortless way. One chapter to the next. I can't find anything that I would say was wrong with it and I think that says a lot. I would bet no one could find anything wrong with it.
It caught my attention and I just wanted to read on to find out what was going to happen next.
Keep writing. Don't stop.
Thanks for a great read.
Jo
Hi
I really liked your beginning. You started with a good hook and it makes me want to know more. who is this guy? why kill or maim the old man. That's what a good story needs.
I am not the best speller in the world but I did notice some misspelled words. Use your spell check. I live by mine.
Hi
I really liked the stroy. It was sharp and pretty well written. You had a surprise at the end which was great. The horror of it all. We come back to haunt ourselves. Very cool.
Your writing shows practice, by that I mean, you can tell this is not your first story.
keep writing. Your good.
Jo
I like your writing. Its crisp, to the point and also confusing. I am not big into grammar or spelling. Thank god for spell check. What I do want to know is where is the bottle of wine. Was that the mystery in your novel. The money went to the wine. Which is a possiblity. Some spirits can go for that much money. But I felt a little confused by your ending.
Or is the advance the 8.5 million and I am being a little dense and tired. I really would like to know. It would be ironic if that is your advance. For the book and screen play. I would say That would be a great ending.
But I still liked it. No wasted words, you said exactly what was going on and I think that is hard to do is a short short. Congrat.
Jo
Great review. As a matter of fact I will be visiting the Biltmore in May and I want to see it even more now.
That is an interesting fact about the Richie Rich movie. Good to know.
I will get the ear phones as per your recommendation. sounds like a very good idea.
Thanks for the review. for me it came in handy.
Well thought out and written.
Jo
I have to tell you that this story has power and is powerful. I couldn't stop reading it. It created the images in my mind that you the writer wanted to convey and wow did it. The writing is strong, you know where you are going with this story and again I will say its the start of one hell of a story. I haven't been on in a while and haven't done any reading and yours was the first that I picked. Great Story and Good Luck with it.
Jo-crim
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