I really liked this poem. I don't know what it is about storys or story poems like this, they are so sad but at the sametime captivating. You did a really good job with this one. It flowed very well kept me reading all the way through.
I did find a typo in the 6th stanza fourth line -tragedy- Just thought I should point that out.
First Impression : This is a really a good piece of writing, it held my attention all the way through. I especially liked the twist of garlic at the end, I had to laugh, I definitely identify.
Spelling and Grammar : None
Flow : Excellent
Suggestions : Only one: Three times I ever so nicely asked you ...
How about: Three times I have asked you, nicely; not to... something like that. This is just a suggestion. It just seems to me she is pissed, tired of being nice. That sentence needs more punch.
Additional Comments : I really enjoyed reading your drama within a drama.
Thank You for Writing, Write On Mollie
"Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well."
The informating of the guidelines are pleasing to the eye and easy to read.
I am not comfortable with reviewing other peoples work. The information you have wrote on reviewing is extremely helpful for me. It puts the reviewing of the authors work in perspective and sets a guideline for how to do a good review. As well as giving me another way of looking at my work.
I like the way one line flows into another in thought and in form creating a goose.
Very pleasing to read and look at.
The simplicity and yet deep meaning of a poets life touched me. Two commas, to make her pause, to slow her on her path.
Beautifully written, write on.
Mollie
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Mollie
Good questions. Good Job.