I have two initial reactions. The first is, 'Ewwwww' and the second is, 'cool'. Funny enough those continued to be my reactions through the entire piece. I'm not sure if this is one of the most disturbing things I've ever read or the coolest. Either way it sure is innovative.
For some reason I kept picturing a Gil Grissom (from CSI) type character sitting in a pristine apartment waiting for yet another weird item that no one else would ever find intriguing and knowing that, despite never being able to share it with anybody, it was the most exciting thing to ever happen to him.
A couple of things...actually, only one thing. In the beginning every time you wrote "I think I found it." or "This is it." it felt like you were telling instead of showing and it really took away from the story because the rest of the time you did such a good job at showing his excitemnt at finding such a rare (one hopes) item.
That was the only problem I found. Otherwise, let me reiterate my initial response. Ewwww and Cool!
A chill is still running down my back. There was a great atmosphere throughout this entire story.
I must say that I am too old for the emotionally challenged emo teenager to do much more than annoy me. I would have been more interested in Eve if she didn't wear her suicidal tendencies on her sleeve. If she was, maybe, super popular cheerleader by day and emotionally unbalanced artist by night I would have found her more intriguing.
On the other hand, Versager was brilliant. Construct of a psychotic mind or actual evil being, either way he/she/it (?) was disturbing and creepy. The language that Versager used, especially in the begining, was enthralling. I could feel myself drawn to what it promised. My favorite lines in the entire story were, 'I want to be found.' and 'And so you have been.'
The thought of Eve getting so lost in her story that she doesn't realize she's actually doing what she writes is quite terrifying, but I wish there had been more proof that she did kill her father (mention of blood on the knife). That could just be my mind struggling for a definite answer in a fairly ambiguous piece, though.
Overall this story had a wonderfully dark and psychotic atmostphere with a terrifying villain. Good job!
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