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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/confusedsoul
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Review of Finally  Open in new Window.
Review by anonymousdreamer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I like the way each stanza proceeds step by step towards a finality. In every individual stanza, each line connects nicely and each stanza too has a finality about it. But in the fourth stanza,
"Finally...
In a passionate embrace
Your frenzied body
Intertwined with mine
Our ecstacy at its climax",
the last two lines do not connect smoothly and lead the reader a bit off the track. Even the finality that the other stanza's possess is missing in this stanza. If I were to edit this piece,it would go as follows:
"Finally...
In a passionate embrace
Your frenzied body
Intertwined with mine
Reaches its ecstatic climax"
Overall, its a nice piece. Keep writing!
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