I haven't visited your port in a while but, I always find something nice when I do and this poem is no exception.
I was intrigued by the title and had to take a peek. I loved how this poem just gently flowed along. The rhymes were easy and did not seem forced. I was a little surpised by the ending (I love that) and just enjoyed reading this work.
I love most holidays and being a working class "grunt" I am happy that we have a holiday devoted to us!
Your poem brings to mind some nice images of how to spend an enjoyable Labor Day Weekend. I like your
opening four lines they give the reader a nice feeling about the poem ahead. My only critique is that although the poem rhymes the rhythm is a little awakward and when read aloud it didn't read as smoothly as the first stanza.
I still enjoyed the happy up beat message of the piece and hope to read more.
I just enjoy reading poems about coffee. I must confess I am not very good with haikus, but I did enjoy your work on this one. I really enjoyed your Sonnet to coffee it was worded in such a relaxing way, it made me want to have a cup as I read this piece. I so agree with your line "To me it brings the warmth of home's comfort" Amen to that!
Ok I like the topic, chocolate is this readers friend. Your opening stanza is realy cute and I like the way you tell how chocolate "cures" the many moods of people. Now a constructive critique, it seemed like you were reaching too hard to make the poem rhyme, particularly with this stanza:
Poeple adore you,
and some do abhor you.
But most poeple say,
that you're the best way.
But it is a cute poem and still makes this reader crave the topic of your piece.
Very cute subject, who wouldn't want chocolate cake for breakfast. I can see the picture this peom creates of the breakfast table and all the people just enjoying something that should be "off limits" and is not so we feel the joy of the people in the poem as they "get away" with their illisit breakfast. The last stanza just sums up the joy of the peom and the experience. Nice read.
You summed up a sad occurance about our pets in just a few short lines. Your poem has a solome tone to it the reader can feel the animals fate. The presentation is easy to read and follow. Nice job.
I like story poems and this tells a nice story of a very brave little kitten. The rhythm of the poem was consistant, it was a little sing-song but that is fine because it did make the reader bounce along with the happy outcome of this poem. I rated it a 3.5 as I did think some of the rhyming lines seemed to push the envelope to make the rhyme work. All in all it was a cute story and I'm glad the outcome was successful.
Just a cute read. I have a cat so I thought I'd take a peek at your peom. The rhythm was fast paced almost and move along well. Some of the rhymes seems a little contrived to make the poem work, but, hey, this is a simple poem about a cat not War and Peace and it was a pleasure to read about Henry and his antics.
Ah! it sounds almost like Beauty and the Beast amoung the animal and insect world. The rhymes are easy and light the poem tells a nice "love" story and I like that the bat does not give up hope that one day he may win his lady love the butterfly, because isn't that what true love is? Never giving up hope and many a butterfly has seen the true beauty of the bat once it gave the bat a chance.
What a lovely poem, I like the gentleness of the snowflake and how it humbly will take whatever form it is given.
When you have a chance check out my poem "The Rock and the Snowflake" our poems have a similare theme.
Not being a mother, but certainly having one and having several sisters who are mothers this poem hit me. At first I was not sure where it was heading but it headed in the right place. Mothers are all the things you mentioned and then some!!!
Beautiful message especially in this time of ecomonic stiffe to have someone think of others before themself. I especially liked this particular stanza:
It's for families to mend
And to forget who was wrong
And remember to forgive
Because our time here's not long
Too often we forget about the sorrows of others at this time of year and think only of "what will we get" or I don't have time to give. This poem makes you think and the message is a good one.
This poem was absolutely priceless. My first thought was "just where is this poem heading, it doesn't sound very
Christmassy to me, but the more I read, the more I started to find the true meaning in "being a gift-giver" now I must say Joan really had the spirit of the season for she did find it better to give than receive.
I just thought this was marvelous. Gave me a chuckle for the day.
I liked how this poem told a story, the theme being an old hero being forgotten. The rhymes are ok as they tell the story, but, it could be written in a way that the rhymes aren't so frequent for example:
I was just a boy of 6 when I met him, though I never knew his name;
Age and years had robbed him of youth, he limped, from a bullet lodged in his thigh
but they were not entirely to blame
Then later on:
He was just looking for a friend, A lonely old man, who had out lived his time;
He wanted someone to know the history he saw and made
When he rode with the others while still in his prime
I just love it. I liked the rhythm pattern and the rhyming was right on as far and I could see. I liked how you had the two of them speak sweetly to each other in the beginning then get a little grity with each other as the poem progressed. But, most of all I loved that you made me chuckle all the way through this poem, so very nicely done!
I like the hopeful, uplifting message this poem brings to light. Too many poems are sad, or frightening even when you read them, that is nice to come across a happy poem.
I like the tone you set with the rhythm of this poem, it had a haunting beat to it which worked well for me while I was reading. The only stanza that I could find any real fault with was your fifth stanza it just didn't seem to fit in as well as the previous ones and I lost my rhythm at that point. Your following stanzas seemed fine and your poem has some nice imagery working for it.
This poem is a little harder to see that it is truely about George. I still enjoyed reading it and once again the rhythm and rhymes flow along. I do however enjoy your work.
I too like the story of Seabiscut so I had to read this poem. It has a great pace, you feel as if the reader is the rider on Seabiscut. The rhymes are easy and go well with the tellling of the story.
This poem has a good beginning, but, it did get a little long for me. In your third stanza I'm not sure if you want to have the word "going" in that sentence I'm not sure if the sentence is coming or going. I liked what you were trying to say that Summer is so much more enjoyable than school and all the cool things that go on in Summer.
Nice little holiday poem, the rhythm was easy and flowed nicely. The rhymes fit in right with the topic of the poem and would be easy for children to learn. It talked about gouls and ghost, but in a non-threating way. You wrote about a nice childhood tradition and kept it light and happy. Nice work
Once again your poems just come right to the point. You tend to ask the questions we all wish too, but don't.
This poem had a bit of distain in its tone and I think in worked well in just the short few lines that were written.
Ah, sometimes it is better to leave well enough alone. There are times when we do not always appreciate what we have until it is gone. Your poem was short, yet, it had a point and it was concise.
Very nice Halloween peom, not scary just fun. Good use of words to discribe and set the scene. I could picture the street and all that was happening on it. Nice work
Ok, this brought a lump to my throat. I do not own a dog, but, I have always liked them. What a lovely tribute to "your buddy" The poem is in an easy, simple rhyming manner, but, it works nicley with the topic. I could feel the love for this animal in each line. Your last two lines were just so touching.
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