Hahaha! It's simply great!
A brilliant mix of normal and supernatural, excellent explanation of the situation and a strong insight into the past of the musician!
Though how a banshee is in a violin, I do not understand... :/
But great work, happy reading!
Keep it up!
It is amazing! Does this story have a Dystopian setting? That's a pretty common theme nowadays so make sure you are as original as possible, and different as well. Would love to read more of this and see how the plot goes on, the character is developed and the progress of the story!
Best luck!!
Unpredictable until the end. A very good and short piece. I am assuming this really happened? Because your emotions are really and very well communicated! And I love the idea of 'the nephew' coming in. But maybe you could've made explicit what exactly made you calmer?
Wooohooo!
Very imaginative and descriptive! How DO you bring so many aspects in, woman? An excellent imagery and maintenance of meter and rhyme. Also a very apt name. The words that you have used are also very appropriate for the various contexts. Good work!
I absolutely LOVE the ending addressal! Personally, I would've been more scornful, but then again I am not as 'nice as you are'. :D
I love how you've worked with the idea of 'it's not you, it's not me'! Totally goes with the 'breaking up' attitude. Nice work Valechia!
I recently gave my IB English final exams and indeed, Hyperbole is the literary device that is easiest device to notice if you have the eye for it. And to think we use it so casually in our every day conversations! Your poem really does see it in a comical light, and brings out the strengths of Hyperbole. My favorite line from your poem is-
'For this event will not transpire
Before the freezing of Hell’s fire.'
It sounds amazing! Great writing! :)
Full of paradoxes, I sure had to re-read the entire poem to make sense of it. And you know what is shocking? I do understand it. It does make sense, in it's own weird way. An excellent piece of work here! What I do not understand, though, is the title of the piece. Are you suggesting that this man is you? If so, I sure think you tend to think very deeply into yourself. What I do love, however, is the rhyme scheme and the perfect meter you have maintained.
Read you around!
An excellent story with an excellent end. Completely unexpected! The relationship between all the characters is also set well, though the setting could have been elaborated upon. Great work!
Hi there! I have a sincere request which is to make your sentences short. I have been advised the same myself by many people and endeavor to do the same. Long sentences are prone to grammatical or syntactical errors. Also, they tend to disinterest the reader as he/she needs to read it over and over again to make sense of it. I am implying that this tends to happen and not that this must be the case with you. However, the piece is excellent in its setting and the mood that it sets. It also successfully makes the reader wonder what the elevator is all about. As for me? I am extremely curious to know what happens ahead! Please write more!
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/cheshirelogic
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.11 seconds at 6:05pm on Nov 25, 2024 via server WEBX2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
