There could be no better reading material for me than an ode to Douglas Adams, which this work seems to be. I enjoyed the interaction displayed in the dialogue between diplomats of differing species. It all sounded as if it could have been taken from the court of Louis XVI or the United Nations Security Council (substituting the fish with a shoe, of course).
The one thing that stands out for correction is the punctuation during dialogue transitions. I screw this up regularly myself. The punctuation belongs inside the quote, Do not use a period if you are continuing with a he said/she said rejoinder.
Example: "I thought you looked better with your eyebrows connected with a black marker line," he said. Comma inside the quotes and no period after "line". You have about five or six instances of doubled and misplaced punctuation throughout the piece. That's the only thing wrong from my point of view. It was a very interesting read. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/charlielmo
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 3:08am on Dec 18, 2024 via server WEBX2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
